


Up To No Good / Mischief Managed

by littlejeanniebean



Series: Harry Potter/Marauders Music AUs [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boy Band, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Drama, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:09:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 28,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23807419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlejeanniebean/pseuds/littlejeanniebean
Summary: "The Marauders are more than a boyband!" Dorcas insisted on the drive to the venue."Actually, that is exactly what they are," said Mary, who'd secured their VIP passes to the show.Lily had to agree with her publicist on that front."The way they're powering through the rest of their tour even after their keyboardist just up and left?" Dorcas defended her idols, "When their guitarist and bassist came out as a couple?""You don't even like boys," Marlene pointed out."Exactly! Just goes to show how special they are!"
Relationships: Arthur Weasley/Molly Weasley, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Mary Macdonald & Marlene McKinnon & Dorcas Meadowes & Lily Evans Potter, Minerva McGonagall/Elphinstone Urquart, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Harry Potter/Marauders Music AUs [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1945612
Comments: 289
Kudos: 217
Collections: Harry Potter - Remus Lupin centric, Marauders Era, Remus/Sirius





	1. Chase Her

**Author's Note:**

  * For [YouBlitheringIdiot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouBlitheringIdiot/gifts).



“Oh, Lily, darling, isn’t it a bit…” Narcissa Black appraised the outfit with a derisive sniff, “childish?”

It was a floor-length gown, trimmed to flow with the model’s figure exactly, thanks to Dorcas’ design skills. The highlight was the hot pink lava-lamp-like mixture oozing between the solid pale pink inner layer and the clear exterior material; Lily, a chemistry undergraduate who’d founded the Evans brand on Etsy as a hobby, had made it from scratch. Underneath it all was a complicated circulation system of refrigerant to keep the wearer cool, courtesy of Marlene, who was studying to be a mechanical engineer. Lily had tested it on herself and had the light burns on her legs to prove it, but it was worth it for the 60s-themed Met Gala. That is, if she could convince her client to wear it.

“Hardly,” she responded, “The design says you're playful, but the slinky cut and deep-V neckline say you’re a woman ready to conquer the carpet.”

Narcissa rolled her eyes, “Serves me right for selecting a designer last minute. All the professionals are booked.” 

Lily tried to think of a popsicle or winter, anything to cool the angry flush she could feel burning in her cheeks.

The tall blonde was unbothered as she strutted around the mannequin, inspecting the low back and the spaghetti straps, before extending her arms out to Dorcas and Marlene, who were standing by, “Fine, fit me.”

“I got it,” Lily said quickly when she saw Dorcas’ jaw drop in indignance at being treated like a maid. 

Marlene successfully occupied the deeply offended designer until Mary, the brand's publicist, announced that it was time. 

Lily and their client left the hotel for the iconic New York museum in a chartered limousine among an entire fleet of them. Although dressed plainly in a black sweater and pencil skirt, Lily’s bright red hair made her stand out among the Black family’s monochrome entourage. 

“Sirius, who’s that?” James pushed his thick-rimmed glasses up his nose and tiptoed to get a better look through the sea of celebrities and their teams spilling onto the carpet. 

“I don’t know, but she must be nice because I’m not related to her,” said the dark-haired man, who’d been essentially coerced into attending this event with the rest of his crazy reality television family. 

“Starting to not regret letting you drag me along,” while his friend walked the carpet, James followed the lady with the designer access credentials who looked at everything around her in unabashed wonder.

“James Potter!” someone called out.

He turned around and noticed too late that it was a reporter.

“How does it feel to win a record deal after your performance in the Highland Music Festival?” 

“Will you be performing on _The House of Black_?” 

“When is your debut album coming out?”

James held up a finger for silence the way he’d seen his mum do plenty-a-time, “I’m so grateful - especially to our music teacher and now our producer, Minerva McGonagall. I don’t think my best friend will even be on that show anymore and we do everything together. We’re in writing sessions now, just having fun and seeing what we can do, but we’re very excited to share our music with everyone soon, especially our amazing fans.”

“Who are you wearing?”

“Who are you most excited to meet tonight?”

“Are you excited for The Weird Sisters’ performance?”

It went on this way until James could politely extricate himself with the lovably boyish excuse of needing to use the bathroom. He practically sprinted to the tents at the end of the carpet. 

“My armpits are _sweating_ , Lily!”

There she was. A picture of calm amidst the commotion. And her name was Lily.

“Cissy, calm down -”

“Don’t tell me what to do, Siri!”

“See, this is why I can’t work with you lot anymore! You’re bat-shit crazy! Of _course_ , your pits sweat, you’re a human being - not a fucking _Barbie doll_!”

“You haven’t the _faintest_ idea of the _impossible_ standards I hold myself to because I actually _strive_ to be my best self unlike you, you lazy _dog_!”

“Are you getting this?” Bella Black, whispered with a toothy smile to the camera that was filming the entire exchange.

"How's it going, Molly?" James addressed the short videographer with auburn space buns. 

She made a funny face at him and he laughed. Molly smiled just a bit in spite of the tensions she worked around daily. 

"Narcissa," a clear voice pulled his attention back towards the girl named Lily, "I believe you've just nicked the wire that runs the cooling system with your heel," she crouched down and hooked it back up, "There you are."

James took this as his cue to pull Sirius away before another argument began. Also, he may or may not have wanted to get even closer to the red-head, "C'mon, mate, let it go, yeah? It's not worth it."

Narcissa huffed and strutted away. Lily had no choice but to follow at her heels, but to her admirer, she made it look like a power move. 

"Ugh, remind me never to do that again!" Sirius collapsed onto the couch in the recording studio they rented next door to their label, Castle Records. 

"James?" Remus asked his less distraught friend.

"Narcissa."

"Ah. At least it wasn't Bella."

The bespectacled boy sat at his drum kit and began to play a couple of mid-tempo rounds on the snare, cymbals, and base, creating the mood of a pursuit. 

"Ooh, I like that," Peter switched the settings on his electronic keyboard to an eighties synth and joined in the jam.

Remus added the bass while Sirius plugged in his electric guitar. 

It was three the next afternoon when Remus finished mixing the track and Sirius had no more unorthodox but cool ideas like, "Record the tires squealing while I do donuts in the parking lot on my motorbike and add it to the chorus!"

However, James, being ever the perfectionist when it came to music, kept wanting to re-record the drums and the others couldn't even talk him out of it because truthfully, it sounded better every time he did it. 

When they reached the one-week mark, though, Sirius had to take action. "I called Molly. She's going to record our music video today and you _know_ she's quick in post-production so whatever you've got is what we're running."

"Ugh, I hate you!" said James. He didn't. 

Molly arrived at nine sharp and set up the lighting, did their hair and makeup, helped them pick coordinating but not matching outfits, and at ten exactly, called, "Action!"

_Don't let her doe eyes fool you_

_She's been winning since the day she was born_

_Darlin' don't wanna lose you_

_Je ne parle pas français, mais j'adore*_

_So I'm done playing hard to get_

_(You gotta chase her, chase her, gotta gotta chase her)_

_You're running circles in my head_

_(You gotta chase her, chase her, gotta gotta chase her)_

_And every word you ever said_

_(You gotta chase her, chase her, gotta gotta chase her)_

_Is calling my soul outta my body, must be in heav'n_

_Whoo!_

"LilyLilyLily!" Mary squealed, barging into her friend's hotel room and clambering onto the bed, "We made it!"

Narcissa's lava dress had been trending all week and the Evans brand online store had finally crashed with the volume of orders they were trying to process at once for clothes, accessories, make up, and fragrances.

_Her name is bloomin' in my heart_

_And every beat I beat is hers alone_

_Darlin' think of what we could start_

_Jamais seul ou triste, jamais pas en mode**_

"Jimbo! Jumbo! Jambo!" Sirius woke up his roommate with their first single blasting from his phone, "We made it!"

Their _Chase Her_ music video had over a million views and the song was number one on Spotify. 

_And if our paths cross just this once_

_Could you be mine and I'll be yours_

_Tonight, darlin', we dance, we dance_

_Nous pourrions vivre pour toujours***_

Sirius guffawed at the comment section, "James: I don't speak French; Also James: Nous pourrions vivre pour toujours."

"Co-written by Google Translate," the singer quipped, putting on his glasses so he could see it all for himself, his smile coming close to breaking his pretty face.

_Done being someone you'll forget_

_(You gotta chase her, chase her, gotta gotta chase her)_

_Cuz you're all I got gon' through my head_

_(You gotta chase her, chase her, gotta gotta chase her)_

_Yeah every word you ever said_

_(You gotta chase her, chase her, gotta gotta chase her)_

_Keeps calling my soul outta my body, must be in heav'n_

_Whoo!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * I don't speak French but I adore
> 
> ** Never alone or sad, never out of style
> 
> *** We could live forever


	2. Moonlighter Sessions

The studio they’d been practically living in for the past eight months had red velvet walls and a leather couch to match. It was dimly lit despite the mid-morning hour. 

James moved some pieces of paper with their song titles scribbled on them around their magnetic white board, “Right, so we have  _ Chase Her _ ,  _ Seek You Out _ -”

“You can’t have those two next to each other,” Sirius and Remus, who were doing each other’s nails, said simultaneously.

“ _ Desire’s Looking Glass _ is a good second track, I think,” said Peter, his fingers lightly skimming over the keys, “Shows we’ve got range.”

“Good, good,” James nodded, “I like  _ Ordinary No. 4 _ but it doesn’t really fit anywhere…”

“Put  _ Tapestry _ before it, after  _ Seek You _ , but have  _ Dragon Slayer _ between  _ Desire _ and  _ Seek You _ ,” Remus tapped his chin thoughtfully.

“I like that,” Sirius seconded.

“ _ Sticks and Swords _ before  _ Dragon _ ?” James proposed.

“Too much of a mood shift,” Sirius and Remus said. The latter added, “Put it after  _ No. 4 _ .”

“That leaves  _ Up to No Good _ , then  _ Lucky Number 7 _ as the closer, which I like the sound of… I just feel like something’s missing between  _ Desire _ and  _ Dragon _ …” 

“I agree, ten would be nice, as nice could be, nicer than nine,” Peter crooned with his piano.

“Hey, Pete, could you play that again?” Remus closed his eyes and placed his hands on his knees. For a while, the room was filled only with the calming tinkle of keys. Finally, he said, “We need strings. Not too many. Just a cello.” 

“I’ll make a call,” Sirius went out into the hall.

“Tonks!” James cheered from behind the drum kit when he saw the pink-haired girl fifteen minutes later, lugging her cello case behind her with ease.

“Wotcher, lads!” the musician set down her instrument and tousled her page-boy cut so she actually cut a figure that mirrored the drummer. 

“How’s Andrea?” Peter set up the sheet music he had jotted down so far for her, “I saw the latest Bake-Off episode last night - that was  _ brutal _ .”

“Oh, she’s got a comeback all planned,” Tonks grinned, setting her bow to the strings, “Mum is a force of nature.”

The low, earthy hum of the cello stunned them into silence. 

“Alright, Remy?” asked Sirius.

The pale boy’s blue eyes had watered and he blinked profusely, “Erm, yes, that was beautiful, Tonks.”

“Thank you,” she blushed, “Peter, if I may… improvise a bit?”

“By all means!” the chubby blond, who was a classical musician by training, nodded eagerly.

Tonks swooped her bow and brought them a crescendo, “ _ Whew _ ! Did you get that?” 

Remus had one headphone pressed to his ear and gave her a thumbs up, “Do you want to try layering some staccato over the runs?” 

“Yes!” she donned a pair of headphones, which looked too large for her petite head but only added to her cuteness.

Their usually shy bassist and mixer was overflowing with ideas and the song just kept building between himself, Tonks, and Peter. He caught Sirius’ eyes watching him with… pride? Love? Then, he did something he never had before: he sang solo.

_ The gift of your melody _

_ How did I ever live _

_ ‘Til the day I heard it _

_ The way you look and see _

_ Into my very soul _

_ Parts I’d rather let alone _

His voice wasn’t strong like James’ or husky like Sirius’, or even smooth like Peter’s, but no lyric on their album until now sounded quite so raw and vulnerable.

_ The stars can try to burn me _

_ All I feel is warm under your sun _

_ You’re the only sign I see _

_ All we have is suddenly enough _

Remus seemed to realize he was singing out loud in front of an audience and ducked his head with pinked cheeks.

“Do you lot always write songs this fast?” Tonks looked between the band members in amazement.

“Hardly. It seems you’ve inspired ol’ Remy,” James’ chuckle was interrupted by the door slamming, leaving a vacant space where Sirius once stood.

“What’s gotten into him?” Peter reached into the biscuit jar. Music always made him hungry.

“It’s probably Walburga again,” James sighed, “She’s been texting -  _ harassing _ \- him to come back to the show, but now that he’s eighteen, she can’t bind him to his contract anymore.”

“I swear half the ratings are from his presence alone,” Tonks shook her head, “All the girls at school love him and ask me about him all the time.”

“But… he came out last season,” Remus puzzled.

“They’re convinced it was a stunt for the show,” she played with the silver charms on her bracelet, “or that he just wanted to twist Burga’s guts.” 

“That sounds like our Sirius,” James covered his lopsided grin with his hand.

Remus was silent and put away the nail polish tubes with an almost imperceptible sulk to his lanky stature.

Peter frowned and went off to find their friend. He stopped short at the sound of snuffles coming from the washroom. He sat on the floor beside the weeping boy and held his shaking shoulders.

“Never fall for a straight boy,” Sirius sniffed woefully.

The pianist pursed his lips, “He’s technically never said that he -”

“You saw him in there! He said more than he  _ ever _ had to any of us! Tonks is a nice girl… I mean… she’s my niece so that’s going to be awkward…  _ God _ , have you ever seen Remus open up like that to anyone?” he fisted the front of his Rolling Stones t-shirt in his veiny hands, “Her music spoke to him… or maybe we just haven’t been listening to him enough? I mean… I know I’m loud… Am I a terrible friend, Pete?” 

“No, you’re  _ not _ ! I think… if you like someone… you need to tell them. You and James both. There’s no romance in pining. It’s just a wretched feeling.”

“But I’m too late,” Sirius moped. 

They sat there awhile longer before Peter insisted that he’d feel better if he had some lunch. 

“Petey, do me a favour, take everyone out to eat… I just… I just want to be alone with Kitty for a bit,” Kitty was his electric guitar.

Peter wanted to scream, “He  _ loves _ you too, alright?!” but this was something they had to talk out themselves, so all he said was, “Sure, whatever you need.”

Alone in the studio, Sirius played a few mournful notes before carressing the strings in a light strumming pattern, swirling up his feelings from where they slumbered within, until he couldn’t bear it anymore. He stood suddenly and hit the record button.

_ Let me be your moonlight, moonlighter love _

_ Let me be your low-light, hold tighter love _

_ Let me be your good time, feels righter love _

_ Let me be your moonlight, moonlighter love _

Kitty let out a few lingering wails at his command.

Remus was the first of the group to return and when he saw Sirius in the booth, he smiled so his dimples popped and put on the headphones so he could listen from the outside.

_ Let me be your moonlight, moonlighter love _

_ Let me be your midnight, ghost-rider love _

_ Let me be your closed-eyes, lonely-nighter love _

_ Let me be your moonlight, moonlighter love _

Remus seemed to be transfixed on the dark-haired crooner as the last electric hum left Kitty’s baby pink body.

“That’s all I got,” Sirius said finally. 

“Right, right…” he ended the recording, “D’y’mind if I layer that over what we made earlier?” the mixer asked softly, “I think that’s the sound we’re missing and it’s a beautiful chorus.”

“It doesn’t really go with that sun and warmth bit you had going, does it?”

Remus tilted his head like a wolf pup might, “The best love has a sense of duality and balance.” 

Sirius nodded and came out of the booth. He laid his head on his friend’s - for that was what they were, he thought,  _ all _ they were - shoulder while the track was built. “You need to use more aloe vera.”

“Hmm?” 

“Scars on your chin from our little motorcycle accident,” a pang of guilt shot like a pinball around his chest cavity. He’d been the one driving.

“But I like them. It makes me edgy.”

“ _ What _ ?” Sirius couldn’t help but laugh.

Remus blushed, “You and James - but you  _ especially _ \- are… tough lads, you know? And then there’s me… homely, gay band junkie -”

“Wait, say that again?” Sirius sat up so they were practically nose to nose.

“I’m a band junkie?” 

“No, before that!”

“I’m homely and gay?” 

“Yes!” Sirius cheered and then kissed him hard.

Remus’ initial confusion gave way to passion as he entangled his fingers in the other boy’s long locks.

“Mm!” Sirius only pulled away to say, “I’ve got the last chorus!”

_ Let me be your moonlight, moonlighter love _

_ Let me be your take time, take higher love _

_ Let me be your goodnight, sweet sigher love _

_ Let me be your moonlight, moonlighter love _


	3. The House of Black: The Diana Ross Episode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus Update: reality TV shenanigans

Sirius tapped his fork against his wine glass, “Can I have everyone’s attention, please?”

Molly, with the camera, zoomed in on his face. Bella was still singing Happy Birthday with simultaneously rude and morbid lyrics in the background, but Molly would leave Kreacher to shoot that because he likes that sort of thing. 

The boy’s fork, which he’d just used to finish off his birthday cake, had left some said birthday cake on the rim of said wine glass, which he raised proudly nonetheless. “Thank you all for coming -”

“You say that like we had a choice,” Narcissa huffed, seated next to her date, Lucius, who looked like he could be her brother, which meant Sirius made incest jokes all the time.

Molly panned to them, but stayed no longer than was necessary before turning back to the birthday boy.

“- eighteen is a big year for a lad,” the long-haired boy continued as if she hadn’t spoken, “and as you all know, I like to start big things off with a bang -”

“If you tattooed your other butt cheek and flash the camera again -” Walburga began, already turning red with annoyance.

Molly pushed in on her from a low angle so her double chin and ugly mole that resided on it looked much worse than it already did. 

“- but before I say anymore, I just want to thank my guests, my mate, James,” he put a hand on his friend’s shoulder, “and his mother, Euphemia,” he put his other hand on her shoulder and she squeezed it tenderly.

The videographer shot them in such a way that they looked more like a family with their matching dark locks than all the Blacks put together. 

Euphemia handed him a sheaf of papers and he spoke firmly and evenly, “These effectively terminate my contract with the show -”

“ _ What the fuck _ ?” Walburga yelled and Molly lowered the boom mic on Sirius so he could continue speaking audibly.

“- my lawyer’s already seen it through, so when I was thanking you all for coming, it was, in fact, genuine because you didn’t need to listen to me -”

“You’ll be out on the streets like my  _ cunt _ of an eldest daughter before the week’s up,” Druella spat, “then you’ll be crawling on your knees, begging us to take you back -”

“Okay, I was going to be the bigger, civil person here, but then you had to go and insult Andrea and now I’m coming for your conniving arse,  _ bitch _ !” Sirius lunged at her over the table and ripped her pearl necklace clean off her stalk of a neck. 

“ _ Sirius _ !” James pulled him back, “I think you had one more thing to say, yeah?”

“Oh, yeah,” he cracked his neck and shook the anger from his shoulders, hoisted a boombox onto his shoulder, and said, “I’m gay.”

_ I'm coming out _

_ I want the world to know _

_ I got to let it show _

_ There's a new me coming out _

_ And I just had to live _

_ And I want to give _

_ I'm completely positive _

He led the parade of three out of the house and into the night with James and Euphemia on either side, dancing with him.

Molly filmed them playing down the moonlit London street until Bella’s incessant, “Happy Birthday, you fucking sod!” interrupted her and the annoying toad-faced producer ordered her to film the shouting match between Walburga and Druella about whose fault it was that the family was falling apart. What she does film instead, is young Regulus, slinking up the stairs, his brother’s termination papers like an anvil in his hands, while a solitary tear dripped down the delicate point of his nose. 


	4. Up to No Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus Update: track list :)

1\. Chase Her _Written by James Fleamont Potter, Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Lead vocals: James Fleamont PotterBacking vocals: Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Drums: James Fleamont Potter. Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Bass: Remus John Lupin. Keyboard: Peter Pettigrew._

2\. Desire’s Looking Glass _Written by Peter Pettigrew. Lead vocals: Peter Pettigrew. Backing Vocals: James Fleamont Potter and Remus John Lupin. Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Bass: Remus John Lupin. Keyboard: Peter Pettigrew. String Ensemble: Hogwarts Orchestra._

3\. Moonlighter _Written by Sirius Orion Black and Remus John Lupin. Lead vocals: Remus John Lupin and Sirius Black. Backing Vocals: James Fleamont Potter and Peter Pettigrew. Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Cello: Nymphadora Tonks. Piano: Peter Pettigrew._

4\. Dragon Slayer _Written by James Fleamont Potter and Sirius Orion Black. Lead vocals: James Fleamont Potter. Backing vocals: Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Drums: James Fleamont Potter. Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Bass: Remus John Lupin. Keyboard: Peter Pettigrew._

5\. Seek You Out _Written by James Fleamont Potter. Lead vocals: James Fleamont Potter. Backing vocals: Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Drums: James Fleamont Potter. Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Bass: Remus John Lupin. Keyboard: Peter Pettigrew._

6\. Tapestry _Written by Sirius Orion Black. Lead vocals: Sirius Orion Black. Backing Vocals: James Fleamont Potter, Remus John Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Drums: James Fleamont Potter. Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Bass: Remus John Lupin. Piano: Peter Pettigrew. String Ensemble: Hogwarts Orchestra._

7\. Ordinary No. 4 _Written by James Fleamont Potter. Lead vocals: James Fleamont Potter. Backing vocals: Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Drums: James Fleamont Potter. Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Bass: Remus John Lupin. Keyboard: Peter Pettigrew._

8\. Sticks and Swords _Written by James Fleamont Potter and Remus John Lupin. Lead vocals: James Fleamont Potter. Backing vocals: Remus John Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Keyboard: Peter Pettigrew._

9\. Up to No Good _Written by James Fleamont Potter, Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Lead vocals: James Fleamont Potter. Backing vocals: Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Drums: James Fleamont Potter. Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Bass: Remus John Lupin. Keyboard: Peter Pettigrew._

10\. Lucky Number 7 _Written by James Fleamont Potter, Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Lead vocals: James Fleamont Potter. Backing vocals: Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Drums: James Fleamont Potter. Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Bass: Remus John Lupin. Keyboard: Peter Pettigrew._


	5. Riddle Records

_ One look in your eyes _

_ I can read your mind _

_ You're naughty, my type _

_ Care for a good time? _

_ You could be just like all your high society friends at high tea _

_ You could get with a football player _

_ But there’s nothing like a shot of adrenaline in the morning _

_ You know you want a dragon slayer _

“Like me,” James mouthed seductively to the camera and winked.

“I’m Alice Fortescue, these wonderful lads are The Marauders, thank you for joining us this Saturday Night Live!” the actress grinned widely as the camera backed away.

The boys all gathered around her in a group hug.

“Holy shit! That was incredible!” Obviously, this was Sirius speaking.

“You were wonderful, honey,” a low voice whispered.

A smiling man with sweet eyes and a mop of dark hair put his arms around Alice.

“Oh, everyone, this is my boyfriend, Frank!” the bubbly actress grinned widely, “He’s a photographer for GQ.”

“Sick!” James shook his hand.

“Nice to meet you, Frank; lovely working with you, Alice; hope you’ll both come to one of our shows sometime, ta-ta!” Sirius practically dragged the band away before anyone could say anything more.

“What was that?” Remus tutted at his boyfriend.

“Yeah,  _ ta-ta _ ?” the bespectacled boy wiggled his nose to adjust his glasses that had gone askew, “Who  _ says _ that?”

“Not what I meant,” the pale, mousy-haired boy shrugged off his suit jacket in their shared dressing room.

“Look, I’ll explain later!” Sirius pleaded, “Just hurry up and let’s get the hell -”

“Yoo-hoo! Siri!” a warbling, high-pitched voice giggled on the other side of the door, “This is their room here, Tommy...”

“ _ Christ _ ,” the dark-haired boy covered his face with his hands. 

“We’ll deal with Bella,” James set his jaw and turned to the other two, “Ready?”

Remus and Peter rolled up their dress shirt sleeves and nodded.

The trio filed out of the dressing room, forcing Bella Black and her friend backward, and immediately shut the door behind them.

“He doesn’t want to see you or any of your family again, Bella,” said James sternly, giving the show's new cameraman the stink-eye for good measure. 

Bella stuck her tongue out childishly. 

Her guest grimaced and offered his hand to the boys, “I’m sorry about her. She overheard I was interested in speaking with you young talents and… well, it got a bit out of hand. I’m Tom Riddle, of Riddle Records.” 

Really, the man with chiseled features and dark slicked back hair wasn’t much older than they were. But he was dressed more expensively than they could ever be comfortable with, even with the fresh success of their debut album.

“You’re Senior’s kid,” James nodded, his mother being an agent in the industry. He noted just the smallest flinch at the mention of the man's father. “With all due respect, we already have a label.”

“A label that has you locked into a contract as a group,” Tom gave them each his card and presented James with another one for Sirius, “We would pay any fees associated with breaking your current contract, then we would launch your solo careers - James as the pop prince, Sirius as the rock and roll bad boy, Remus as the R&B god, and Peter as the jazz legend!”

“We’re better musicians together,” said Remus.

Tom leaned in, “Your success now, quadrupled. Plus the potential for high-engagement collaborations among you. The freedom to create in your own style on top of that. Imagine it. And give me a call.”

" _ Ta-ta _ ," Bella blew them each a kiss in a way that could only be described as menacing. When they were out of the boys' earshot she simpered, "You're  _ such _ a clever businessman, Tommy."

"Don't call me that," he yanked his arm away and pressed his phone to his ear irritably, "I found us some new business and laid the groundwork. Can I have my allowance now?" 

The Marauders flew back to Scotland that night and rehearsed for months until they were ready to drop before flying back to LA for Night One. 

“Nervous?” Sirius whispered while they waited for their opening act, DJ Dedalus Diggle, to finish his set.

“Why would you ask me that?” James huffed, adjusting his bright red tie for the umpteenth time. 

“You need more glitter,” Molly patted his cheekbones lightly with her pointer finger, which was covered in the golden stuff.

“Five minutes, boys!”

“Thanks, Arthur!” Remus spoke for them all.

“We’ve got this, Jimbo!” Peter bounced excitedly on his heels.

“Easy for you to say. You’ve been performing at recitals since you were big enough to reach the keys from the bench.”

“The jitters never get old,” his baby-faced friend told him, “but we’re  _ all _ going out there. And with everything we do together, we always have fun.”

James nodded to himself and made sure to check on their drummer for the tour, “You good, Kingsley?”

The man in a rose-red disco suit twirled the sticks deftly in his hands, “Let’s do this.”

“... and now, Los Angeles,” Diggle hyped the crowd, “give it up… for  _ The Marauders _ !”

The lights went up and the boys looked out at the incredibly emotional fans who’d come to see them.

“Right,” James whispered, reaching for the microphone with shaking hands, “A-one, two, three.”

_ I don’t have a lot of time _

_ I’m running for my dear life _

_ Can’t breathe without you by _

_ Aye aye aye _

_ It’s a full house _

_ But I’ll seek you out _

_ It’s a wild crowd _

_ But I’ll seek you out _

_ I don’t know how _

_ But I’ll seek you out _

James couldn’t help grinning ear to ear as Sirius broke out into his guitar solo.

Remus pointed out a sign that said, “Marry me, James Potter!”

The lead singer laughed and spoke into his mic, “Well, will you buy me dinner first, at least?” 

The girl promptly fainted.

Arthur was by her side immediately to make sure she was alright.

“Oh, dear, you’ve hit your head,” Molly crouched down beside him and handed the young girl an ice pack.

The red-headed manager got his first good look at the videographer and her multi-pocketed fishing vest and cargo pants.

She noticed him staring, “I’ve known these boys a long time. You never know what you’re going to need.”

“Good advice,” he helped her and the fan back up in one go, “I’m Arthur.”

“Molly,” she grinned, hoisting her camera back onto her capable shoulders and focused back in on James.

_ Under your spell, I like how you play it _

_ Keeping it cool is so overrated _

_ Waiting on you, every breath bated _

_ Hey hey hey _

They played LA two more nights before moving on to San Francisco. Then Vegas, then Seattle, and across the rest of the continent, all the way to New York.

“Madison Square Garden,” James swallowed, taking in the iconic jumbotron above their heads and the entire stadium, really.

Just three hours later, he was up on that very stage, sweat trickling down his back and the bridge of his nose as he sang his heart out about a funny story the designer, Lily Evans, once related about her sister via Instagram post.

_ There’s a little house on Privet Drive _

_ Where nothing ever happens _

_ Little curtain twitcher of a wife _

_ And a little boy and husband _

_ But when they leave for their nine to five _

_ And the little boy goes to school _

_ The little old lady with cats ninety-nine _

_ Does what she wills to do _

_ Living next to ordinary no. 4 _

_ So much to do, so much to explore _

_ The grocer down the street from me _

_ His daughter left for university _

_ And he needs the comfort of my tabbies _

_ Yessiree, that’s what I’m here for _

_ Your neighbour next to ordinary no. 4 _

After that, they went all over South America. The streets were typically too narrow to drive a tour bus around, so they often jetted from one country to another and rented a little convoy of minivans to take them to the arenas from their hotels and back.

“Shit, Petey’s got food poisoning!” Remus fussed over the poor boy.

“I’m fine! Really!” the blond insisted before doubling over and retching once more.

“I can fill in,” DJ Diggle adjusted his signature flat cap, “I have all your songs pre-recorded -”

“We have half an hour to get it out of his system!” Sirius declared determinedly, “We’re not going on without you, Pete!”

“I’ve got the doctor!” Arthur came in, followed closely by a middle-aged woman with apple cheeks and curly hair.

“You need to replace your fluids,” Molly handed Peter a bottle of electrolytes.

“Yeah, it’s a common bacterial infection going around among tourists,” said the doctor, giving him a dose of antibiotics, “He’s not in any shape to perform, you lot, so you might as well let him rest.”

“I  _ can _ \- oh,” Peter ran to the bathroom.

“How soon can you give him another dose of that?” Sirius asked anxiously.

“Not any time in the next half hour,” she narrowed her eyes at him, apparently having overheard his earlier proclamation.

“Poppy’s right,” said Arthur, “Peter’s health comes first. Dedalus, isolate the keyboards in every track and queue the set list.”

“Try to keep time,” Sirius added.

“No improvising for tonight, lads,” Arthur warned the regular band members.

“But -” 

“I’m serious.”

“And so am I!” he could only maintain a straight face for two and a half seconds after he said this.

James sighed as they waited for the DJ to introduce them half an hour later, “It’s not going to be the same without Peter.”

“We’ll make the best of it, Jimbo,” Remus assured him, “and he’ll be back with us for the next one.”

The frontman set his jaw, pushed his glasses up his face and pulled the microphone to his lips.

_ Do you remember _

_ The games we used to play _

_ Mermaids underwater _

_ Aliens in outer space _

_ Do you remember _

_ The sticks we’d raise aloft _

_ We called them swords and never _

_ Lost the battles that we fought _

Peter was back on stage the next night, to much celebration and all too soon, they flew back across the pond for their European leg. Of course, their first stop was Scotland.

“It’s so good to be home,” James sighed happily, pausing to wipe his glasses on the hem of his shirt and winking at a girl who lost it at the sight of his abdomen, “This is our last song. Please join in if you know the words. Or make them up. Just have a good time. Be as loud as you want to. We love you all, thank you for everything you’ve done for us. We’re the luckiest boys in the world.”

_ Is there a risk to it? _

_ Is it a challenge? _

_ If there isn’t, if it isn’t, I don’t want it _

_ Yeah, I wanna do some damage _

_ I feel lucky tonight _

_ I got you by my side _

_ Seven days in a week _

_ And you spend them with me _

_ So hell yeah, I feel lucky _

"That sounds really good, Pete," said James from where he lay on the floor of their stage after the arena emptied, "We could use that."

Peter chuckled, "It's Chopin. A waltz."

James ambles over and his friend makes room for him on the bench.

"It's a split C chord, then F, A flat..." he guides him through the song. It's out of time and messy, but they're having fun. "James…"

"Yeah, Pete?"

"What are we going to do about Tom Riddle's offer? I mean, his dad’s label practically owns half the music industry. And Castle is just this little independent… He could make our lives more difficult than he already has." 

"Unless we join him, you're thinking?" 

"We could ask Arthur to negotiate a group contract just the same. I doubt they'll dislike the idea of paying less upfront."

"But what about loyalty to everyone at Castle? McGonagall? Urquart?" James shook his head, "We're having a successful tour in spite of the ticket bots Riddle set on us. We're looking out into seas of fans all wearing our merch in spite of his shipment hijacking.  _ And _ we're having bloody good time because we're  _ not _ letting any of the homophobic slander he's fueled the press with get to us."

"Here, here!" cheered Sirius, clinking his beer bottle with his boyfriend's.

"Right, rest up, lads! You deserve it with all the work you put into this show," James stood and ambled back to the tour bus, where Shacklebolt was already sleeping soundly, being the earliest riser of them all.

“Goodnight, all!” Peter loved his friends, truly. But he was convinced their stubborn sense of the meaning of courage would do them a great disservice.

As always when confronted with a decision to make, he visited the only jazz bar in Scotland, the Leaky Kettle. Immediately upon stepping inside, he let the smooth piano carry away the stress. 

“The usual,” he told the bartender.

“Put it on my tab,” Tom Riddle swivelled around on the bar stool, "Fancy meeting you here."

"You mean you didn't expect to? Didn't plan it?" Peter received his drink with barely more than a sideways glance at their adversary.

"It's just business, Peter. I  _ know _ you understand that."

"Then why go through all this trouble for  _ one _ act? There must be thousands -  _ hundreds _ of thousands - of talented artists who could make you rich."

Tom rolled his eyes, "My father was always… a bit single-minded. He wants to put me through my paces before handing me the keys to the kingdom, so to speak. But don’t worry about that. Just know this: I think your group is talented and I can see that you’re the musical glue holding it all together. You’re the only one with any formal training, after all. And I really  _ can _ see to your career’s longevity. If you stick with this boyband too long, though…” 

Peter raised his eyebrows, “Then what?”

“Well,” the label executive leaned in, “then you’ll need to think about what that does to your image as a  _ real _ ,  _ serious _ musician.”

The blond boy finished his drink. 

“Another one for my friend,” Tom told the bartender, took his jacket, and left.

His calling card sat heavy in the keyboardist’s wallet.


	6. Live at the O2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confession: I actually wrote this part first and wrote all the others around it, so that's why it might feel like there's a little too much exposition? Maybe that's just me...

"The Marauders are  _ more _ than a boyband!" Dorcas insisted on the drive to the venue.

"Actually, that is exactly what they are," said Mary, who'd secured their VIP passes to the show.

Lily had to agree with her publicist on that front. 

"The way they're powering through the rest of their tour even after their keyboardist just up and left?" Dorcas defended her idols, "When their guitarist and bassist came out as a couple?"

"You don't even like boys," Marlene pointed out.

"Exactly! Just goes to show how special they are!"

"Those two and the drummer are great musicians," Lily conceded, "I just don't really see the point of their frontman other than that he looks good on their poster." It was really unfair how good someone could look in horn-rimmed glasses. "And who does he think he is writing a song about Petunia's neighbour like that?"

They arrived to a flurry of fans for both the band and the Evans fashion and beauty brand. 

Lily whipped her head around to Mary when they started screaming her name, "Did you…?"

Mary smirked, "What kind of publicist would I be if I didn't leak a little something-something every now and then?"

"Lily, are you dating James?!" one fan screamed.

"Which one is James?" Lily asked her companions.

"The frontman," they answered in unison.

Lily made a face that was luckily mostly hidden by her oversized sunglasses or else Mary would have her work cut out for her.

"The VIP lounge is back here," the efficient publicist led the way, "Jimbo!"

"Mac!" said the frontman, dressed sharply in a full tuxedo, courtesy of the Evans brand, "Glad you could make it! The boys are just getting ready..."

There were some questionable noises coming from the dressing room labelled, ‘Remus’.

"... allegedly," James amended with a winning smile, "Tea? Juice? Something stronger?"

Mary made the introductions while their host passed around the drinks.

"I love your lipstick, by the way," he said to Lily.

"Excuse me?" If he was the type of rockstar who flirted with every girl he met, she wasn't sure she wanted to let him wear their clothes at his show.

"Oh! No!" a nervous hand flew to his artfully mussed hair, while his other traced his own painted lips, "I meant the ones we wear onstage to stand out better in the spotlights. Usually I end up looking like a clown under normal lighting, but yours are great."

"Oh," Lily breathed a little laugh, "It's just a hint of fluorescence that plays nicely with the stage lighting. Chemistry."

"It's brilliant," he asserted.

The intimate sincerity he spoke with gave Lily a hint as to why he was a good frontman and a good candidate for a celebrity endorser. Mary, as usual, was right. 

"C'mon, I'll show you to your private box," he led them up the backway, and retreated with a wink, "Enjoy the show!"

In a few minutes, the rest of the arena filled and The Marauders opened with their first number one hit,  _ Chase Her _ , followed by the eclectic  _ Moonlighter _ . DJ Diddle filled in the parts that their keyboardist would have played. Then Shacklebolt began the drum roll. 

Marlene watched Dorcas bouncing excitedly beside her.

"You got this Marls," Lily whispered, squeezing her hand.

The band read fan messages at each show and Marlene had been able to submit a very special one.

"The first message is from…" Sirius received the drawstring bag James tossed and read with a dramatic flourish, " _ Marlene Mckinnon! _ Where are you Ms. Mckinnon?"

James pointed up at their box and gave them a wave.

"Ooh, this is a good one!" Sirius walked over to his boyfriend, "Read it with me?"

"He didn't finish school," joked Remus, as he leaned in.

Sirius pretended to be upset while the crowd laughed, "Oi, we have a job to do! Marlene is counting on us!"

Together they read, "Dorcas Meadowes, you are the kindest, most beautiful soul I've ever met."

Lily chewed her bottom lip while she watched her friends show up on the jumbotron. 

The couple on stage continued, "We've been friends for a long time and I love you with all my heart. Will you go out with me?"

The crowd hooted and whistled.

Dorcas had stopped bouncing. Marlene had laid a tentative hand on her shoulder. Suddenly, Dorcas spun around and leapt into the other girl's arms. 

"I think that's a yes!" James cheered, "Oh, to be young and in love! Congratulations! This next song is dedicated to Marlene and Dorcas! If you have anything shiny, any light, now's the time to use it!"

They sang  _ Seek You Out _ , then James sobered as he introduced the next song, "We've never played this one before."

"If you hate it, we'll never play it again," Sirius added.

"We wrote it… well, we started writing it almost a month ago," the lead singer continued.

"That's when Peter, their keyboardist, left!" Dorcas whispered, her head resting on Marlene's shoulder.

"Well, you wrote it," the guitarist clarified, "Remy and I were busy -"

"- being otherwise occupied," the bassist finished.

James laughed, looping his microphone wire in his hand, "No, actually I took the verses from one of our first songwriting sessions - it was awful - but the bassline and melody we had going were sick and if you put it into a sort of… like, ‘yeah, I know it's a total cliché, that's not how it works,’ kind of context…" self-consciousness seemed to take over because he put the mic back on its stand and said, "Just 'boo' if you don't like it and we'll move on and just agree this never happened."

Shacklebolt counted down from three.

_ Better off _

_ Shrug it off _

_ Don't need you anyway _

_ Top it off _

_ Take it off _

_ Over you the next day _

_ Oh, if only _

_ Truth is you make everything _

_ Easy as do re mi _

_ Ivory and ebony _

_ Won't sound so sweet _

_ Ever again to me _

Lily's eyebrows shot up. The lyrics weren’t exactly revolutionary, but with how deep James' speaking voice was, you'd never expect him to hit those high notes.

_ Something's off _

_ Shrug it off _

_ I know I'll be okay _

_ Dust it off _

_ Pull it off _

_ Am I hung up? No way! _

_ Oh, if only _

The singer's eyes were squeezed shut as the veins popped in his neck. He undid his bowtie and unbuttoned his dress shirt a bit. His hair that had been chock-full of product was now drenched in sweat and his mascara smeared around his eyes, but it only added to his handsomeness. The girls screamed the chorus with him the second time. 

Sirius and Remus put their foreheads together as their instruments sang out to each other. 

"Can you clap your hands for me, London?" James put his hands together in time with Shacklebolt's bass drum, "Lovely!"

He sang the chorus two more times before the song ended, “Whew! You know, Peter -”

“- he who must not be named!” Sirius interjected with an indignant twang of his Fender.

“- usually sang the high notes in all our songs,” James chugged a water bottle, “I’m exhausted!”

Despite this, he continued the rest of the set with just as much energy.

“Whoa, lads,” said Sirius after their last song,  _ Lucky Number 7 _ , “we’ve finished five minutes early.”

“You can’t be serious,” James deadpanned while Remus face palmed himself. 

“But I  _ am _ ,” the dark-haired boy bander giggled.

Half the crowd groaned at the pun, the other half laughed.

“Well, that’s what you get for only having ten songs in your album,” Shacklebolt intoned from the back.

“For those of you who don’t know, Kingsley joined us for the tour, but all the drums on the album are done by myself,” James explained.

“Way to blow your own horn, Jimbo,” Remus commented.

“ _ Chase Her _ is  _ hard _ , lads!” the frontman defended himself, “Kingsley knows what I’m talking about, don’t you, Kingsley?”

“Well, I mean, I’m a professional so it’s actually not -”

“Alright, alright,” James waved him off and turned back to the audience, “we’ve got one more for you lot since we’ve got the time -”

The crowd erupted in cheers for almost a minute. 

“Well, we won’t anymore if you keep that up!” Sirius teased.

James sat down so his legs dangled off the edge of the stage, “It’s, uh, a friend asked me to write this for him… to play for this girl -”

“Oh, sure,” Sirius mumbled cheekily.

James threw up his hands, “I give up, just play it.” 

_ It’s red and gold _

_ Or so I’m told _

_ By my eyes though _

_ I’m sure they must be lyin’ _

Lily’s breath caught in her throat. He was looking up into their private box, straight at her, or so it seemed. Their tour videographer, Molly Prewett, caught on and Lily's face was soon lighting up the jumbotron. The fans went crazy.

“Tell me again, how did you get these tickets?” Lily whispered to Mary, while keeping a polite smile upon her freckled face.

“We send complimentary boxes of merch to celebrities; he mailed us tickets in return,” her tone turned teasing, “I guess he has a little crush.”

Lily was nothing short of uncomfortable at the thought of someone she barely knew - someone who barely knew  _ her _ \- fancying her. They were adults, for goodness sakes - not teenagers!

_ How tall and bold _

_ How soft to hold _

_ I wanna know _

_ The girl with hair like fire _

The song gradually built up into a raucous guitar solo finale and Lily thought that if she had to be written about, at least it was one of their better songs.

James yelled, “You guys are an amazing crowd! Hope you had as much fun as we did all tour! We’re going to take a break, make some more music, and come back to you soon! I’m James Potter, that’s mad-man Sirius Black on the guitar, lovely Remus Lupin on the bass, MVP Kingsley Shacklebolt on the drums, and we are…  _ the Marauders _ \- good night!”

The lights went out with the last hectic beat and the crowd went wild in encore.

“C’mon! We have to attend the after-party!” Dorcas cheered as Marlene took her up piggy-back style.

It was a relatively small gathering with finger-food and champagne. There was an actress and her surprisingly shy husband deep in conversation with Shacklebolt and an older man with long white hair, wearing a purple bandana and a rainbow tie-dye shirt talking excitedly to Remus and Sirius. Once again, James welcomed them into the lounge.

“So… what did you think, Ms. Evans?” he asked shyly.

Lily was saved from having to respond by the entrance of a middle-aged woman in a sharp emerald green jumpsuit.

“McGonagall!” the other boy banders cheered and surrounded her.

“She’s the one who discovered us, just playing bars around Scotland,” James explained, “A music teacher by trade, but with her talent, she could’ve made it big in the industry if she wanted.”

“Why didn’t she?” Lily was immediately in awe of the stately woman, who obviously had great taste in fashion. 

“Her producer broke her heart,” said Dorcas, who was always in the know about these types of things, “she never released what would’ve been her debut, but retained all the rights, so the demos are just sitting in a vault somewhere.”

“C’mon, I’ll introduce you,” James offered Lily his arm, which she accepted after just a moment’s hesitation. 

“Have I taught you nothing, Mr. Potter?” McGonagall gave him a steely look that stopped him on approach, “Relax your jaw, throat, and tongue when you sing like Mr. Lupin and Mr. Black do.”

“We have a lot of practice,” Sirius wiggled his eyebrows at his boyfriend, who pinched his side in retaliation for the innuendo in front of their former teacher.

“And,” she wasn’t finished, “You’ll damage your vocal chords with all that screaming.”

“I’ll give it a rest, ma’am,” James promised, “This is Lily Evans. She’s -”

“Yes, I know who she is,” the woman shook her hand, “You dressed Narcissa Black for the Met Gala.”

Lily remembered working with the cold, self-important model, but kept herself from making a face, “Yes, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. McGonagall.” 

They chatted a bit more before Lily signalled Mary to make some excuse so they could leave.

“What’s wrong, Lils?” asked her publicist.

“I just didn’t want to give anyone the wrong idea,” Lily turned around and nodded to herself when she saw the paparazzi catching them leaving early, “The last thing the brand needs is a rumor that I shacked up with a rock star after he wrote a song about me.”

“Yeah, we’ll save that for when we want to launch a lingerie line,” Dorcas, their lead designer, nodded drunkenly. She had always been a bit of a lightweight.

“Not exactly what I meant,” the young business woman massaged her temples.

“Well, that was an unmitigated disaster,” James flopped onto his bunk in their tour bus that would take them back to their shared house in Scotland.

“I did warn you that a self-made woman like Evans wouldn’t exactly fall to her knees swooning no matter how good a song you wrote her,” Remus stretched out on the bunk across from him.

“Literally all it says is I want to get to know her!” he pouted, “What’s so bad about that?” 

“Maybe she just doesn’t have room in her life for a relationship right now,” his friend placated as he made room for Sirius to climb in beside him.

“Kingsley, what do you think I should do?” 

Their most sage member changed into his blue silk pyjamas with the air of royalty, “Devote time to making yourself worthy of her affections. The right time for you both will present itself if it’s meant to be.”

“Bo-ring!” Sirius intoned and Remus flicked his ear.

James suddenly snapped his fingers and rooted around his jacket pocket for his phone, "Weasley! Can you get us seats to Evans' show at Paris Fashion Week, pretty please with the fattest cherry on top?"

  
"A  _ willingly _ unmitigated disaster," Shacklebolt threw the covers over his head. 


	7. Dark-hearted Prince

_ The worst of reputations _

_ Are built with good intentions _

_ Rebels don’t learn their lesson _

_ But don’t they have the best fun _

_ Mama says those boys are up to no good _

_ You can do better than them and you should _

_ They’d run every warning sign if they could _

_ Cuz fellas like that are up to no good _

James politely pocketed every kiss the Victoria’s Secret models sent him as they walked up and down the catwalk around the little stage where the band was set up. Mostly though, he flirted with the camera and was the epitome of professionalism, focusing on putting on a good show for the audience.

“Right, that’s my end of the bargain,” he anxiously bounced on his heels in the dressing room.

“Bagman just came through,” Arthur sent the entrance code for Lily’s show to James. 

“Thank you!” he embraced the fiery-haired man before running off.

It was a front row seat among other celebrity guests, including Bella Black, Tom Riddle, his former bandmate, Peter Pettigrew, and some greasy goth who looked like he’d rather be anywhere but here. 

“James,” nervous.

“Peter,” cordial.

“James,” silky.

“Tom,” neutral.

“James,” mocking.

“Bella,” open contempt.

“...”

“And who might you be?” the bespectacled boy plastered a friendly smile on his face, but the goth only narrowed his eyes.

“This is Severus Snape,” Tom patted the boy’s stiff shoulder, "You maybe have heard his first single,  _ Dark-hearted Prince _ ."

"Charming," James had heard the song. He hadn't exactly liked it.

“Glue gun!” Lily yelled backstage.

“Glue gun!” Mary was a publicist who wore many hats, right now she was a runner: coffee, thread, needles, whatever her people needed.

“Hey, where's Narcissa?” Marlene shooed Lucius off the makeup chair.

“I fitted her ages ago!” Dorcas yelled across the dressing room.

"I'll find her!" Mary ran off.

Lily gave each model in the line up a last once over and a word of encouragement before cleaning up the dressing room, which might as well have been hit by a tornado, while humming to herself.

_ It's funny how the things we're made of _

_ Never ever tell us that they're there _

_ We have to be rudely awakened _

_ By the face we see in the mirror _

_ We weave _

_ Tapestry _

_ Instinctively _

_ You weave _

_ Into me _

_ Until I can't see _

_ Through the threads _

_ Get out of bed _

_ Out of my head _

_ But there you go again _

_ And weave _

"I told you  _ The Marauders _ would grow on you!" Dorcas grinned.

"I just like that one song!" Lily insisted. She  _ loved _ that one song. 

There was a light tap on the door, "Flowers for Lily Evans?"

"Oh, thank you!" she accepted the roses and recognized the handwriting on the card, "They're from Petunia!"

"You guys are sibling goals," Marlene sighed happily for her friend. Petunia was a custom jeweller and Lily had tried her best to get her sister's small collection into the show, but the creative director vetoed it every time.

"Lily?" Dorcas noticed a single tear slip down the other girl's cheek. 

"I'm fine. I just need a minute," Lily clutched the card in her hand. 

It had said, "Dear Lily, I want you to know that if you go through with this show, I cannot be happy for you. In fact, you will have made me the most heartbroken sister. We're the Evans girls. We do  _ everything _ together. It wouldn't be right if you don't wait for me and I will loathe you. ~Petunia."

"Oh! I'm sorry!" out in the hallway for some privacy, she ran into a large, darkly dressed man with even darker hair.

"My apologies," he said.

His formal tone amused her and she laughed. Or perhaps she was simply grasping at straws for something to make her feel better.

"You dropped this," he picked up her card, which had fallen face up. He tried not to pry, but the hateful words jumped out at him and he told her before he could stop himself, "She's wrong to ask this of you. You're very talented, Ms. Evans."

Her moist green eyes widened in surprise and her mouth formed a little 'o'.

He offered her a small smile that would make one think he'd never done it before in his life, "Like I said, you're very talented. I'm sure all of Britain knows who you are and now the world will."

Lily sniffed weakly, "But she's my sister…"

“I’ve looked everywhere!” Mary practically pounced on Lily, frazzled, "It's five minutes to show time!"

Lily excused herself to the tall, dark, and yes, maybe rather handsome stranger. She poked her head into the models' lounge, stuck her calloused fingers in her mouth, and got their attention, “Hey, do any of you know where Narcissa is?”

“She’s probably still on the roof,” Lucius drawled, "You get the best reception up there."

“ _ Still _ ?” Mary’s voice turned shrill, “How long have you known?” 

The commotion brought Dorcas and Marlene out of the dressing room. 

The model huffed, “Well, I would have told you sooner, but your makeup artist kept pushing me down the line -"

"She did no such thing!" Dorcas rushed to her girlfriend's defense. 

Marlene took her hand, "It's alright."

"No, it  _ isn't _ !"

The girl whispered, "That's Lucius Malfoy and he's not under contract to be here; he just likes to associate himself with the next big thing, but if we rub him the wrong way he will leave and we need his following to boost our male consumers or something like that is what Mary said."

Dorcas chewed her lip and looked between Marlene's makeup-stained fingers, to Lily's glue gun burns, and Mary running to the fire exit to get the missing model because the elevator was just too damn slow. " _ Fine _ ."

"Ms. Evans?" the stranger tapped her shoulder.

"Oh, please, call me Lily."

"I'm Severus."

She shook his hand.

"If I may… these girls are  _ here _ .  _ With _ you.  _ They're _ your sisters. Sometimes blood is just what keeps you alive."

Lily took a deep breath. She wasn't the only one who'd worked so hard to make this night a reality. "Thank you, Severus."

"You're most welcome… Erm…"

"Yes?"

"Do you know the way to the washrooms? I think I got lost…"

Lily laughed truly then and pointed him in the right direction. 

"Go, go, go!" Mary ushered a haughty Narcissa out of the elevator, "Places, everyone!"

The stage director cleared her throat and cocked her hip.

"Sorry, Pomona," she stepped back.

"Places, everyone!" Pomona clapped her hands.

Lily, Dorcas, Marlene, and Mary watched from the wings as the models walked one by one. Each outfit featured the trademarked Evans brand Lava Technology. Lucius led the promenade in a suit that looked like it was made of molten platinum under chainmail and diamond accessories. Worn by Narcissa, the show-stopper dress of glittery blue created the illusion of a koi pond beneath Dorcas’ skilled embroidery. 

“Do I look alright?” Lily asked her friends, adjusting her beige pantsuit with a gold lava mixture.

“Stunning,” they assured her.

“And now, we welcome to the stage, Ms. Lily Evans!”

The young designer could not stop her face from flushing the same color as her hair as she accepted the ceremonial flowers. She thought that lilies were a bit corny, but was far too giddy to care.

A sharp whistle caught her attention. Her eyes first see Severus, whose dark clothing stands out in the bright lights, but it’s the Marauder, James Potter, who had his fingers in his mouth and was still whistling for her. When he noticed her gaze, he gave her two thumbs up and the happiest grin.

The showroom soon emptied out to the massive foyer where they had an open bar. A crash and string of profanities made James’ head snap in Sirius’ direction.

“ _ You _ ,” the drunken lad shook off Remus’ hold and marched towards a trembling Peter.

“I think that’s far enough,” Riddle stepped forward calmly, waving off his bodyguard casually, “It’s alright, Fenrir.”

James and Remus got a hold on Sirius’ shoulders, but not before he’d taken a wide swing. Riddle ducked, so Peter was hit and stumbled back into Lily, whose rose bouquet was knocked out of her hands and trampled as Fenrir hauled a resisting Sirius out. 

Peter’s mouth and nose were bleeding. Remus looked ready to avenge Sirius’ honour while Riddle was alone. Lily stared at the destroyed bouquet, looking ready to cry. 

James swallowed hard and made his choice. “It’s not worth it, mate,” he rubbed Remus’ back on soothing circles before turning to Peter, “He was out of line… but you could’ve been less of a coward and given us more than a note before leaving.”

And in those few seconds, Severus Snape was at Lily’s side, holding up the single untarnished rose, making her smile through the tears.

Alone in the limousine, unable to reenter the venue, Sirius turned on the radio.

_ He downs the devil’s medicine _

_ He drowns in his own careless sins _

_ If she cries she never tells him _

_ Her cold-blooded, dark-hearted prince _

_ He plays because he knows he’ll win _

_ Broken bottles and broken chins _

_ He knocks, she has to let him in _

_ Prison warden, dark-hearted prince _

_ She screams like he is listenin’ _

_ Keeps runnin’ ‘til it hurts her shins _

_ But the babe they had she left with _

_ The vile savage, dark-hearted prince _

“I fucking hate this song,” he turned the radio off.


	8. Greed-Eyed Monster

_ I wanna be able to say, “Look ma, I made it” _

_ I wanna be on stage for a standing ovation _

_ Can you see what I see when I look in the mirror? _

_ I wanna be able to say, “Ma, can you hear it?” _

_ They’re chanting my name and everything’s so different _

_ Can you see what I see when I look in the mirror? _

_ Heart’s desire, I feel it pulsing _

_ It’s in ev’ry song that I sing _

_ Music raised me, is my baby _

_ I dreamed a dream, now it’s coming _

“That was Peter Pettigrew back when he was with the phenomenally successful boy band,  _ The Marauders _ . He’s in the BBC Radio 1 studio today to talk to us about going solo and his brand new single that’s topping charts right now. You must be pretty chuffed, mate!”

“I am! I really am! Thank you for having me.”

“Of course! So, we have to talk about this, just to get it out of the way: there was… a bit of an incident last week at the Paris Fashion Week. You’ve got a little bandage on your nose even now.”

“Yeah, I sounded a bit nasally too, but it’s a lot better now. Thanks, man!”

“Rumours are flying every which way right now, especially concerning your former bandmates, best set the record straight, no?”

“I have nothing but love for those boys. They’re some of my best friends and I can’t wait to see what they make next.”

“Stop reading the  _ Daily Prophet _ , love,” Remus snatched Sirius’ phone away, “You know they’re nothing but a gossip rag,” then he read the headline:  _ Reality TV star turned rockstar sends former bandmate to the hospital _ . “Oh,  _ fuck _ the  _ Prophet _ !” 

“Keep reading,” Sirius moaned.

“ _ Peter Pettigrew, the golden boy of The Marauders, has gone solo on the record to say that he still loves his boys despite their open animosity towards him _ ,” Remus seethed and checked the by-line, “Rita Skeeter clearly didn’t do her research.”

“Maybe we should have made the details of the break more public to begin with,” James muttered.

“Because  _ now _ it’s backfired on us and  _ we’re _ the bad guys,” Sirius threw his hands in the air.

“So tell me about this new label you’re with,” the radio host prompted, “how are they supporting you creatively because we kind of got a hint of what you were capable of with  _ Desire’s Looking Glass _ , a departure from anything else in  _ The Marauders’ Up to No Good _ album, but now it seems like it’s all you.”

“It is,” one could hear the smile in Peter’s voice.

“And I love it!”

“Thank you!”

“The fans love it.”

“Thank you, guys!”

“Why you, do you think? Why did Tom Riddle pick you?”

“I mean… I think… and this is just pure speculation -”

“Lay it on me!”

“I think we just think on similar wavelengths, you know? We have similar ideas and, you know, share a vision for what we want to achieve.”

“Which is?”

“Make good music - which isn’t to say that I wasn’t doing that before, but obviously now I’m more in control, I can’t get outvoted -”

“It’s freeing.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re not censoring yourself in the studio with three other guys.”

“Yeah… I don’t know if I’d use the word ‘censoring’ because, like I said, we’re friends. We always try to support each other.”

“Fair enough. Let’s talk about your label-mate, Severus Snape.”

“I love his new single.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I've loved  _ Dark-hearted Prince _ ever since I heard it.”

“It’s quite gritty, his music, no?”

“It’s real and it’s honest and I mean, that’s the best you can hope for when you create, is to be honest.”

“There’s probably going to be a bit of friendly competition in the charts, isn’t there?”

“I’m up for that challenge,” Peter said gamely.

“Would you be up for a collab?”

“One-hundred percent.”

“ _ Karma is serving the ill-mannered boy band by taking their hits off the top ten and and replacing them with those of the artist they took for granted _ ,” Remus read in a mocking tone.

“Why do  _ you _ get to read it but not me?” Sirius whined.

“Why do  _ either _ of you want to read it?” James hit his drums in protest.

“So we can plot an appropriate revenge,” Sirius.

“So we can plan a counter-article with Arthur,” Remus.

“We do nothing,” James set his jaw and pushed his glasses up his nose.

“You can’t be serious!” said the other two.

“Yeah, that’s  _ my _ name!” said the guitarist with a defiant strum.

“Anything we do in response will be twisted one way or another,” said the drummer, “We let this fizzle out while we do what we  _ love _ \- make music.”

“We’re back with Peter Pettigrew," the radio host continued, "formerly of  _ The Marauders _ , now a brilliant artist in his own right. We’re going to play your new single now, I've had it on repeat since it came out - the sweeping chorus and those high notes,  _ man _ , those high notes! - what do you want to tell us about it?”

“It’s about… self-discovery, finding it within you to love yourself no matter what anyone says including that little voice inside your head.”

“A personal struggle of yours?”

“Like I said, the best you can hope for when you create, is to be honest.” 

“Let’s hear it. This is  _ Forgive  _ by Peter Pettigrew.”

_ Late at night when you feel small _

_ And everything seems to be your fault _

_ It’s hard not to feel nothing at all _

_ Maybe this is how the mighty fall _

_ And then get back up _

_ You have to because _

_ If you were like everyone _

_ There would be no one else _

_ To face your fears, fulfill your dreams, forgive yourself _

"Hi, Petunia," Lily was sent to voicemail again as she plodded out of the muddy tube station into the London rain, toting a large grocery cart containing the materials she needed for a client consultation. "I heard Vernon got a promotion and came around to your place to congratulate you but… you weren't home, perhaps…" she had a sneaking suspicion her sister had been right inside the door when she'd visited, staring her down through the peephole until she'd given up and left to make her appointment. "Anyway, please give me a call when you can… I love you."

She went up to the darkened door of a small row house and rang the bell.

"Lily," the gothic musician pursed and stretched his lips in what was meant to be a smile.

"Hi, Sev."

"Oh, it's dreadful out here, come inside," he hung up her jacket, "I'll make you some tea - do you have a preference?"

"You're too kind, whatever you usually have is good."

"Ah, shit!" James threw away his drumstick as it broke in half.

"Hard to believe this is the same person who said he  _ loved _ music two minutes ago," Remus quipped.

"Oh, cut him some slack, Remy," Sirius said nonchalantly, "It's not everyday your celebrity crush, whom you stalk through actual stalkers on social media, walks into the private home of another man."

"I hate you both," James pouted. He didn't. "I just… the more I learn about her the more I…"

"But you're not actually learning about  _ her _ , are you?" Remus points out, "You only see what the media shows of her and what she chooses to put out there."

"Can't I just have my  _ feelings _ ?" the frontman ran a hand through his already wild hair.

The couple put their hands up in surrender, mirroring each other. 

James continued to pound the drums and started yelling lyrics.

_ Okay you're right _

_ I've got no right _

_ Your sweet green eyes _

_ I only want them looking into mine _

_ 'Til they're reflected _

_ You'll see a transformation _

_ What a monster you make of this man _

Lily flitted about the musician like a faerie, taking measurements and leaving goosebumps in her wake. "So what's your concept for the music video?"

"Street urchins who are more worthy of knighthood than those in chainmail."

"Ooh, I love a good underdog story!"

"And leather."

"Oh, we're an environment-friendly brand…" Lily chewed the inside of her cheek. Despite the success of her show, she was still nervous about losing clients.

"That's great to hear," said Severus, though his face was impassive.

"So you're okay with faux leather? I know it's not as rough in texture, but -"

"You'll make it work," he said confidently.

Lily beamed.

_ I can't sleep right _

_ I've got no right _

_ Don't you realize _

_ What your wandering heart's doing to mine _

_ And now I'm jealous _

_ What ugly transformation _

_ What a monster you make of this man _

_ With those sweet green eyes _

_ Ow! _

The boys went out to celebrate their progress in the local pub, The Hog’s Head. Three girls came up to them, swept right past James, which made the frontman flush in embarrassment at the assumption only he had made. 

“You’re Sirius Black!” said one of them, forgoing a more normal greeting.

“The one and only,” he winked.

They giggled.

Another whispered, “I told you he wasn’t gay!”

Remus must’ve been the only one who heard that because while the girls continued to flirt with the man who was, in his opinion, so obviously his boyfriend, said boyfriend remained completely open to their advances. 

“I’m going back to the studio,” he said loudly.

“But you’re our designated driver!” James protested, still nursing his pint.

“Well, then you best come with me then, no?” 

His boyfriend was still enthusing over the girls’ nails.

“ _ Sirius _ ,” he snapped.

“Yes, Moony?” It was his nickname for him ever since they wrote Moonlighter together. 

“We’re leaving.”

“Okay, nice meeting you, lot,” he waved to the girls and blew their kisses back to them so profusely it made Remus’ blood boil.

“I think I’m going to kip down for the night, lads,” James trudged upstairs to where the bedrooms were, “G’night!”

“Night,” delightfully drunk.

“Night,” sourly sober, “Hit record on my signal, would you?” he muttered, pulling up the track they had been working on. 

“Aye, aye!” Sirius swivelled around and around before settling on facing the booth with great interest once Remus was inside. 

_ All the boys and girls are crawlin’, clawin’ for you _

_ I mean, look at you, I know you know just what you do _

_ It’s you they wanna love or you they wanna be _

_ I know you know what a monster you make of me _

“Whoa, where’d that come from?” the long-haired boy gaped.

Remus felt like shaking him but settled for some jabby finger-pointing, “Why didn't you tell them to stop?”

"Who?" 

"Those girls at the pub!"

"Stop what?"

" _ Bloody _ hell, you're thick -  _ flirting _ !"

Sirius stared at him for a few moments before realization dawned on him and he started laughing.

"It's not  _ funny _ !" his boyfriend looked like the cutest of cutie patooties, crossing his arms in his oversized sweater, tucking his long, calloused fingers further into his sleeves.

"I," he tiptoed up to kiss him on the chin, "love," on the cheek, "you," on the nose, " _ only _ ," on the lips, "and need I remind you I'm gay or does the fact that I'm in love with you, you sweater-pawed, tea-obsessed, blue-eyed boy, clear it up some?"

Remus picked him up around the waist and kissed him deeply. 

“Mm!” Sirius breaks the kiss.

“You’ve got to stop doing that.”

“But I’ve got an idea for another song!”

_ My baby knows just what I like _

_ Those private smiles and bedroom eyes _

_ My baby knows _

_ I can’t control _

_ It anymore _

_ It’s all I can do not to disrobe _

_ My baby, oh! _

“We’re going to need to find a better word than ‘disrobe,’” Remus traced his scar with his pointer finger.

“What’s wrong with it?” Sirius demanded.

“No one wears robes anymore.”

“Which is what makes it romantic.”

“More like irrelevant.”

“You try coming up with another long-o sound that isn’t unclothe because that’s not sexy.  _ Disrobe _ is sexy.”

“Fine, we’ll see what James has to say about this in the morning.”

Sirius only had to text James the link to a very comprehensive Lily Evans fansite that he’d found a few days prior for James to let him not only keep disrobe in the song, but make it the title. James hadn’t found the site himself because he never Googled Lily’s name on a regular basis - that would be creepy. He checked all her friends’ Instagram accounts every week, though. Oh, and followed the media entities her publicist did on Twitter. 


	9. Paparazzi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted in advance for Blckbnny <3 Take care and THANK YOU for your incredible work during this time!

Lily had never been inside a home studio before and Severus’ was one of the nicest, not that he’d ever do one of those home walkthrough segments. 

“Would you like to hear something?” he mumbled shyly.

“Sure!” she fit a large pair of headphones over her ears. 

_ There she goes _

_ Sweet red rose _

_ Think she knows _

_ My heart’s closed _

_ Even as she knocks _

“Is it… okay if I… released it?” he ventured as it faded out, “Youdon’thavetosayyes.”

Lily considered this a healthy step up from being blindsided at a concert with 20,000 people watching for your slightest reaction. “Yes, of course, it’s lovely.”

_ Here she is _

_ Close as this _

_ Think she is _

_ Magnificence _

_ Even when the curtain drops _

“So… that was… nice,” Severus cast her a millisecond of a sideways glance before leading the way out of the museum on their second date.

Lily smiled at him sympathetically and snuck her hand into his. He really  _ was _ trying. “It  _ was _ nice. I always love paying Tate a visit.”

“What else?”

“Hmm?”

“What else do you love?” he asked earnestly.

“Oh, um…” she turned up the collar of her trench coat to hide her blush, “well, chemistry, obviously. I wanted to go into immunology originally and maybe I still want to, but one of my favourite professors back home in Dublin, Horace Slughorn used to work in the perfume industry and hired me to help him develop some scents for this West End mall and that’s how I met Mary, Marlene and Dorcas…”

The darkly dressed man narrowed his eyes at the idling Volkswagen ahead and walked faster, pulling her along.

“What’s wrong?”

“Keep your head down and don’t speak.”

She looked up at him indignantly and opened her mouth to rebuke him.

The next moment, a jittery young fellow with a large camera leapt from the vehicle and began snapping their picture while an even younger, similarly mousy-haired boy held up a video camera and fired questions at them, “Lily Evans, why are you going out with this slimeball when James Potter of The Marauders is so clearly into you?”

“I’ll see whomever I want, thank you very much!” she advanced on them, yanking her hand away from her date in the process, “What are your names? Who do you work for?”

“Severus Snape, don’t you feel guilty for turning your own mother away when she’s dying of cancer?”

He shoved the photographer aside before grabbing the video camera with both hands and smashing it into the window of their car, “Mind your own business, you little rats!”

“Whoa, hey, mate, easy!” they scrambled into their car and took off. 

“Are you alright, Lily?” Severus placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Did you really?” she asked quietly.

He shook his head, “She’s not ill. It’s just what she’s spreading to the press after I wouldn’t settle some debts for her… She’s only my mother by blood, but I am an orphan.”

“I’m… sorry to hear that…”

“It’s fine. Let’s keep walking,” he stuffed his pale hands in his jeans, “Please.”

Lily nodded in understanding, “Thank you for trying to get us out of it without a fight. I’m sorry I didn’t listen.”

“It’s alright.”

_ Away she goes _

_ Holding her rose _

_ I hope she knows _

_ My heart’s not closed _

_ To her if she cares to stop _

“Um… hi,” a young girl  came up to them almost as soon as they sat down in the downtown restaurant on their third date. She had dark makeup and skin painted pale so she looked like a miniature female version of the singer.

Severus looked straight over her head and called out loudly, “Security!”

“No, no, it’s alright this time,” Lily smiled at the girl who had shrunk back and put her arms around her middle, “What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“Don’t encourage them,” he hissed, “This is  _ private _ lunch.”

“How about I order for us and you can sign something for your lovely fan?” she spoke sweetly for the benefit of the girl, but her sharp green eyes pinned him to it.

With a sour downturn of his lips, he scrawled something barely legible on the napkin and thrust it at the girl, who said tearfully, “Thank you so much, oh my god, I love you - I mean, I love your music. It just -”

“You got your autograph, didn’t you?” he spat.

“Severus!” Lily snapped, kicking him under the table. She didn’t even spare herself a moment to fret over the fact that he’s her client as well as her date.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” said the girl quickly, “I just wanted to say thank you. My mother was… was like yours and your music helps so much. Thank you, bye!”

She ducked out quickly and Severus proceeded to absorb himself in the menu as though nothing had happened. 

“Why won’t you go after her and apologize?” Lily growled at him, throwing down the menu as she grabbed her purse and jacket, “Say you were having a bad day or something?”

“There are boundaries -”

“She was  _ so _ sweet! And you just -”

“They’re all hungry badgers, Lily,” he was getting exasperated now, “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Is that so?” she stopped moving to raise a cool eyebrow

It was as though he just realized she was ready to leave, “Wait, don’t -”

  
“No, no, if I don’t understand, it’s probably best that I do,” Lily slipped past his outstretched arm, her cheeks aflame with a passion, “ _How_ can you say… _How_ can you write a song… about your heart not being closed and… and be so _cold_ to someone who’s _struggling_ _just_ _like you_? You know what? I don’t care. I don’t want to know. Enjoy your _private_ lunch. And you can forget about working together.”


	10. The Set Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus Update! My AU take on The Prank, prompted by the one and only, YouBlitheringIdiot :)

“You did...  _ what _ ?” James massaged his temples.

“You know, Creevey - the milkman turned pap turned media mogul -”

“ _ Gossip _ mogul, you mean.”

“And he couldn’t have picked a better time to do it, eh?” Sirius kicked his feet up on the dash in the recording studio, “Now you can go back to pining for Evans at a safe distance knowing she is once again on the market.”

With a burst of strength, Remus shoved his boyfriend’s boots off the equipment, his face a livid red, “We agreed -”

“I don’t recall -”

“Bull _ shit _ -”

“ _ Jimbo _ , here, said, but I never -”

“We’re a  _ team _ , Sirius,” Remus clenched and unclenched his fists, “That means we have an  _ understanding _ .”

“What kind of an understanding is it when only one of us calls the shots?” Sirius rounded on James, “Y’know, I’m starting to see why Petey left.”

A thick, static silence brewed between them.

James mumbled, “I’m calling in a favour -”

“From whom?” Remus.

“For whom?” Sirius.

“We need to make this right.”

“That’s not an answer,” Remus crossed his arms.

“Riddle. For… gothic greaseball,” James grimaced.

“ _ What _ ?” the boys advanced on him, ready to take any opening and grab his phone out of his hands.

“He owns a TV network too and we’re going to be doing a behind the album special, yeah? So… I’m going to offer him exclusive airing and in exchange -”

“Look, Jimbo,” Sirius put an arm around his friend, “I know I broke… code or whatever, but Snivellus didn’t need to handle it the way he did, hmm? We’ve been papped worse than that and he completely overreacted -”

“It doesn’t change the fact that he was set up -”

“Like we never were -”

“- by you -”

“- d’you think we were just randomly found at those clubs -”

“- my best friend -”

“ - after I split from the House?”

“- who I  _ really _ want to believe is  _ better _ than the rest of his petty family!”

“Humour me for a second,” Remus held both their shoulders and created some distance between them, “James, what will Riddle do in exchange for exclusive airing rights?”

“He’ll give Sniv-Severus to McGonagall for media training and then if she thinks he’s ready, he’ll perform at the Highland Festival with us.”

“ _ With  _ us?”

“Not at the same time because I don’t even know how that would sound,” James would never do heavy metal grunge. He learned that after primary school. “But, he could open for us. There may be pictures of us generally being chummy with him and the VIPs to help him get his image back up.”

“Provided he can manage a smile for those kids,” Sirius scoffed. The VIPs at the Highland Festival were always those who couldn’t make it to a normal concert whether it was because of a disability, health concern, extreme weather, or economic strife. Usually, it was kids who won the supposedly random draw, but that was McGonagall’s prerogative and the boys weren’t complaining and gladly left her to it. 

Remus elbowed Sirius in the gut repeatedly until the long-haired boy could squirm away no further and conceded, “ _ Fine _ , fine!”

“You’re doing the right thing… seriously,” James beamed and pressed his phone more tightly to his ear as his friends giggled like school girls at the pun, “Riddle, how would you like exclusive airing rights to our behind the album special?”

“That’s like handing your first born over to your mortal enemy,” he drawled, “What’s in it for  _ you _ ?”

“We get Severus Snape as our opening act at Highland.”

“Really?” the man hummed curiously, “You don’t want your old friend, Peter?”

“We want some variety for the audience, that’s all.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” he hung up.


	11. Drummer Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JILY JILY JILY JILY JILY

_ You charmed the heart right out of me _

_ Don't need no broom, I'm flying free _

_ I think by now it's plain to see _

_ I'm nothing without you _

“Oh, that’s Celestina Warbeck!” Lily jumped up from the agent’s feet suddenly and looped her tape measure back around her neck. 

“You know your classics!” Mia Potter praised. 

“My parents used to love them,” the designer sighed wistfully, bringing out her big portfolio folder for her latest client to flip through.

“Used to?” the middle-aged lady inquired, although her relaxed tone made it clear she didn’t intend to be nosy, she was just making conversation.

“They’ve passed on now.”

“I’m so sorry, dear,” she continued to peruse the designs.

Lily appreciated the simplicity of her statement and that she’d left it at that. People, especially her clients in entertainment, loved to gush and coo. There was a great commotion downstairs and it made her jump out of her thoughts and back into her body.

“Oh, that must be Monty and James,” Mia waved it off, “Sirius should be with them too. Always need a pick up game before supper.”

“James?” Lily mimicked the agent’s relaxed tone from earlier. It was a very common name, as was Potter, she reasoned.

“Yes, our son. He’s, um, in a band.”

“Oh,  _ The... Marauders _ ?” Lily feigned a polite ignorance, unsure of what her hesitance meant.

“Yes, but he’s got a bit of a big head, if you ask me, so I wouldn’t mention it.”

“Right,” Lily recalled his demeanour all the times she’d met him before and didn’t think he had an ego at all, unlike some people she could think of, whose utter disregard for fans was caught on video and made public on  _ Called It! with Creevey _ . 

What Lily loved was consistency, because that meant honesty and as a wonderful bonus,  _ The Marauders _ were consistently lovely. In fact, she’d always found her spirits rather lifted after listening to their feel-good album - Dorcas’ copy, of course.

“He used to be in the marching band, you know.”

“Oh?”

“Our little drummer boy,” Mia sighed with nostalgia, “He plays so good live, it’s a shame he doesn’t anymore and instead flaunts his… body the way he does.”

Lily flushed at the memory of their O2 show, “He’s a good singer, though.”

“Yes, yes,” the woman lifted a loose leaf page from the portfolio, “I like this one.”

“Excellent choice,” If she ever had the occasion to, Lily would have loved to wear the deep green dress with butterflies settled all along the flared sleeves and around the deep v-neckline. But she pushed her delusions of grandeur aside as she made a mental checklist: ask Marlene to make a wireframe for the butterflies; have Dorcas make the shoulders of the sleeves puffier so they could hide the shape of the little motors that would make the butterfly’s wings move -

Her thoughts stuttered to a halt as a very sweaty, very fit, very shirtless James Potter walked in, twirling a football on his pinky finger.

“Mia,” Monty trotted in all sweaty and leaned in to kiss her. His wild dark hair was gray at the temples, but he was as jaunty as a fifteen-year-old.

“Ew,” his wife said, but she was smiling. 

“ _ Lily _ ?” James noticed her and quickly dropped the ball and threw his soaked shirt back over his head, knocking his glasses askew in the process. 

“Hello,” she said and fought to keep her eyes on his very handsome face - since he wasn’t working, he sported a roguish stubble - and not on the delicious outline of his abs.

“I didn’t know you were in Scotland.”

“Dorcas has a fashion retreat. Marlene goes to UofE. Mary lives here. Your mother is our client.”

“All great reasons,” James thought she looked wonderful in her simple gray sweater and blue jeans, her hair in a single plaited braid, resting gently on her left shoulder. 

“Yes, I think so.”

“Hey, are you taking more clients at the moment?” 

“You mean  _ four _ more, precisely?” she smiled, her little teeth peeking out from between the prettiest pink lips.

“We need tour outfits. Arthur wanted to get Gucci, but I told him you’re better, if you’re available.”

Lily laughed and James almost slapped himself for thinking he wanted it to be his new ringtone. “Better than  _ Gucci _ ?”

“They’re scrambling to do what you do. It’s revolutionary.”

“Laying it on rather thick, aren’t we?”

“Like I said, we want you.”

“I’ll have to check with the girls, but I think it can be arranged.”

“Lovely,” Mia interrupted, a cheshire cat grin on her face that worried James, “I’ll start dinner and Lily, you  _ must _ join us, I won’t take no for an answer. Your hotel is  _ ages _ away from here. James, will Sirius be joining us?”

“Nah, he’s gone back to Remus’.”

“Okay, come help me in the kitchen, Monty?”

“Right-o,” said her husband and they left the young adults alone.

James stood there like a deer in the headlights, “I… should go… shower -”

“Yes,” Lily’s eyes widened in horror at how eager her voice came out, “and I need to - should pack up -” she secured Dorcas’ portfolio and began to pack her little consultation go-bag, not meeting his eyes.

“It’s nice to see you,” he neared her to retrieve his ball.

“You too!” she squeaked, holding her breath resolutely after getting a whiff of his  _ musk _ and her renegade mind thinking it would make a really sexy perfume.

After the awkward disaster that was the main course, Monty began to talk about chemistry. He was the brains behind Sleekeazy, the hair product line Marlene would always go on about any chance she got, telling the girls it would change their lives. Hearing the science for herself, Lily actually thought she might try it. 

“Ah, sorry,” Lily fished her chiming phone out of her pocket, then she grinned at James, “The girls are in! When would you like to schedule for?”

“Perfect! Um… I can get Arthur to text you? What’s your number?”

She gave it to him and Mia’s cough sounded suspiciously like, “Smooth work, James.”

The next time James was in the studio with Sirius, he was very productive.

_ My baby knows just how to do me in _

_ Lickin’ those lips, swayin’ those hips _

_ My baby knows _

_ I lose control _

_ When we’re alone _

_ It’s all I can do not to disrobe _

_ My baby, oh! _

Lily stayed in Scotland for another week, which gave plenty of time for James to almost die of a heart attack every time he saw her in town, shopping for prototyping supplies with Marlene or fabrics with Dorcas. And when her soft fingers took their sweet time flitting over his body to measure him? He could’ve sworn he was high.

It wasn’t just his imagination that she took extra long with him in comparison to his bandmates. Lily was a nervous wreck and she hated it. She shouldn't have listened to their album so  _ goddamn _ much and  _ definitely _ shouldn’t have let curiosity get the better of her and lead her to watch their music videos, which led to their live performances, which led to videos like “James Potter’s Top 10 On-Stage Vocals” and “Why James Potter is different from other celebrities.” 

_ My baby knows it’s not just physical _

_ It’s magical, uncomparable _

_ My baby knows _

_ It’s not touch and go _

_ For me no more _

_ When you ask me to disrobe _

_ My heart now, oh! _

“Lily?”

“Sorry, what?” she colored.

“Uh… nevermind,” James pushed his glasses further up his nose even though they were fine and ran a hand through his jet black hair even though it was already standing on end.

“No, please, go ahead, I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention. My mind was just… yeah,” she cleared her throat.

“I was wondering if you and the girls wanted to go up to the Black Lake with us this weekend?” 

“That sounds like fun. I’ll ask them,” she appreciated the easy out he gave her in case she didn’t want to, but a part of her wished he hadn’t, so she could tell him ‘yes’ right then and there.

When the weekend arrives, they all pile into Sirius’ Range Rover and drive up to the lake that was indeed so deep and so cold it was practically black. 

Kingsley and Mary got on immediately, Sirius and Remus and Marlene and Dorcas were going on double dates before the invite to the lake, so James had no one to play host to except for Lily, not that he was complaining, except he was running out of witty things to say while it seemed like she could go on for the rest of their lives -  _ her _ life. Stay in the present, James reminded himself, even as the lyrics betrayed him by writing themselves.

_ Bare footsteps in the grass _

_ In the forest by the lake _

_ They say I’ll bet it won’t last _

_ But who cares what they say _

Lily was in the middle of a story about a model she would not name but whose guts she hated, “- and then she literally tossed her hair in that stupid ponytail and it was  _ right there  _ an  _ inch  _ from my face. So I…”

“You what?”

“I grabbed it.”

“You  _ what _ ?”

_ I love being surprised by you _

_ Wanna be surprised _

_ For the rest of my life _

“Oh, don’t tell me you’ve never gotten an adrenaline kick and no warning.”

“Stage dive in Barcelona,” he said immediately, “Performing an original revenge breakup song in primary school. That scene in the Up to No Good music video where I’m in a shark tank in nothing but swimming trunks.”

“There was no scene of you in a shark tank -”

“Exactly! It didn’t even make the cut because, apparently, a terror-struck face isn’t sexy.”

“I can’t decide which I want to hear about first.”

“Finish your story and I’ll give you all the details.”

“Well, I told her that if she jeopardized a show like that again, I knew Euphemia Potter and I would get her blacklisted in the industry, never to work again. She kept her toes in line after that.”

“You name-dropped my mother before you even met her?”

“It wasn’t a lie, per se. Everyone knows Euphemia Potter.”

James had to hand it to her. “Hey, I just got an adrenaline kick and no warning, should I go for it?”

“I’ll make sure you don’t get hurt,” she promised.

“That’s a great comfort,” he leaned in and pecked her lips quickly.

“You call that a kiss?” a smirk played on her lips and her bright green eyes danced. 

“I can do better,” James took her opening.

“Prove it.”

He cupped her face and locked his lips on hers languidly, seductively, sweetly until they were both breathless and drunk on the feeling of each other.

“Better,” Lily whispered.

“Told ya,” James adjusted his glasses, slightly fogged up from their heavy breaths. 

“How was I?”

“I feel like writing a song.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should.”

_ I love taking you by surprise _

_ Do you wanna be surprised _

_ For the rest of your life _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no exaggeration, all your comments give me life <3 thank you especially YouBlitheringIdiot, JadeNightTheWriter, and pianistbynight, i love hearing from you :)


	12. Behind the Album

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Molly x Arthur, McGonagall x Urquart, and a song for Moaning Myrtle

Molly pushed the backup battery into her camera and called action, vowing that it would be the last time, no matter what the boys decided to do with it. 

The boys stood in a row in front of a white backdrop, "Hi, we're _The Marauders_ -"

"No, no, we sound like a bunch of juveniles!" Sirius broke the lineup.

"You know he's got a dumb idea when he uses big words," sighed Shacklebolt.

"I say we set off fireworks on the Thames and walk away in slow motion with shades on."

"Hey, can we do that?" James perked up.

"It's a behind the scenes documentary, Siri," Remus reminded gently, "It's supposed to be lowkey."

Sirius and James mirrored each other: pouting, crossing their arms and huffing.

"Aaaand cut, that's the intro, boys!" came Molly's voice from behind the camera.

"No, wait, I can feel something stuck in my teeth -" Remus.

"My hat wasn't on straight -" Shacklebolt.

"Was my hair okay?" James.

"Your hair is never okay, mate. Always looks like you got electrocuted and then defibrillated back to life," Sirius.

James gasped in offence and that's where Molly hard-cuts to the studio montage.

_Little_

_Ickle_

_Myrtle_

_Sat alone in the back of the room_

_Her teachers didn't know what to do_

_With a girl_

_Who prefered_

_The company of worms_

_To boys and girls like me and you_

"What the fuck kind of song is that?" Shacklebolt laughed, playing a jovial beat for it.

"We don't try to understand Jimbo's brain anymore," shrugged Remus, "We just go along with it."

“She was in Riddle’s year in sixth form, wasn’t she?” Sirius spoke up suddenly, “Big bangs, bigger glasses…”

“Shit, she killed herself one year, didn’t she? ‘Company of worms?’ Blimey, James...” his boyfriend drew a hand over his face, “ _why_ is this a happy-sounding song?”

"Because no one knew what she was going through, did they? So on the surface, it’s all fine and now she’s just a footnote in our memories, a blip in history. Well, not on my - Hey, Kingsley, can you do that again with a bit more of a marching band feel - no, less army, more American high school marching ba-there you go! Just, er..." James awkwardly maneuvered the sticks out of their drummer's hands without actually ever asking for them and began to play. _Ratatat-tat-tat._ _Ratatat-tat_.

Shacklebolt caught on quickly and carried the rest of the song.

_Little_

_Ickle_

_Myrtle_

_Threw away her glasses as she ran_

_To the lavat'ry, where cry she can_

_Cuz of a girl_

_Who prefered_

_To make fun of her_

_Instead of being friends like a good lass_

"We're here at the Belford hospital to perform for a little girl named Ginny Nye," James explained to the camera, "who really wanted to come see us, but was too sick. Let's go meet her!"

"Hey, what's up, kiddo?" Sirius high-fived her slowly. She could barely raise her hand, but her small face bloomed in a smile.

"Hi Ginny, I'm Remus, this is Sirius, James, and Kingsley," the bassist took charge of introducing them.

"What's your favorite song, sweetheart?" Kingsley asked.

"Red and Gold," she said, "My hair used to be red before they cut it off…"

"We'll play it for you, then," Sirius readied his acoustic guitar to accompany James, who held her hand and looked dotingly into the little girl's eyes as he sang. 

_Oh, even if the sun set forever tonight_

_I'd've seen all I've wanted so I wouldn't mind_

_Oh, even if the sun set forever tonight_

_As long as I'm next to you I wouldn't mind_

They visited many more fans like Ginny until one day, James stole Molly's camera and was just goofing off, but he caught a moment by the stairs of the cottage they were all staying in while they worked on the record.

"Molly?" Arthur came down to where Molly was biting her nails, her eyes almost as red as her hair, "What's the matter?"

"She's gone!" she sobbed.

"Who? Who's gone?"

"The little girl! Little Ginny… her mother called to say… oh, the poor woman, to say _thank you_ \- of all things! - for making her daughter's last wish come true before she… she…"

James didn’t feel right about snooping anymore, but struggled to turn the camera off and in so doing incriminated himself. We see a brief shot of his watery brown eyes and hear a forlorn sniff before the video goes black.

There is a shot of _The Marauders_ singing loudly with a gaggle of children. Molly made sure to push in meaningfully on a solitary brooding goth talking quietly to an equally darkly dressed young boy, both smiling sincerely at each other as they discussed Edgar Allan Poe. In post, she hard cuts to the next introductory segment. 

"We're here at the Highland Festival where it all began," says Sirius, bouncing from side to side like an agitated boxer, it's hard even for Molly to keep him in frame.

"We're playing a charity gig for Save the Children and Amnesty International," Remus pitches in, "Severus Snape is opening for us. It's gonna be great!"

After _Dark-hearted Prince_ , the four boys practically catapult onto the low, intimate, outdoor stage and the crowd goes wild.

James says in an adrenaline rush, "We have a special song for you lot since this is such a special place not just for us, but for the #couplegoals celebrating their one year anniversary in the front row, Arthur Weasley and Molly Prewett, this one's for you."

_She's out of this world_

_I'm sure you've heard_

_Everybody knows, everybody knows_

_He's down to this earth_

_I'm sure you've heard_

_Everybody knows, everybody knows_

In post, Molly cuts to McGonagall who listens to the song without so much as bobbing her head, while Elphinstone Urquart, their other producer, is enthusiastically pumping his fists to the bass drum.

_She's as cool as steel_

_Knows how you feel_

_Everybody knows, everybody knows_

_He closes the deal_

_Knows how you feel_

_Everybody knows, everybody knows_

"We're _The Marauders_ ," the boys say in unison in front of the same white backdrop.

"We've got a bunch of new songs coming at you -" James.

"Our new album is called _Mischief Managed_ -" Sirius.

"You can pre-order it now for the chance to win some secret session tickets -" Remus.

"We can't wait to see you!" Kingsley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments and/or on Tumblr @littlejeanniebean :)


	13. The Purple Socks Show with Albus Dumbledore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus Update: The boys pay their favourite radio host a visit...

“Welcome back, boys!” the white-haired man enthused, “Good to see you!”

They went down the line on the soft couch they sat on.

“Thank you!” James.

“Thanks, mate,” Sirius.

“Thanks for having us,” Remus.

“The last time you were here, we played hangman with the fans on Twitter and they cracked your entire tracklist in all of fifteen minutes. But there were some lingering questions, like why was  _ Lucky Number 7 _ not track seven and  _ Ordinary No. 4 _ not track four?”

“I have no idea, honestly,” Remus.

“Why didn’t we think of that?” James.

“Because we’re not bloody geniuses like our fans, clearly,” Sirius.

Dumbledore laughed good-naturedly, “So here’s what we’ll do,  _ The Marauders _ have given me a list of the songs they want to put on the album - some you might’ve heard before, some you haven’t - and we’re going to put a poll on Twitter, @purplesocksshow, for each song and you can vote for which position in the tracklist you think it should have. The polls will be open for the duration of the show starting… now!”

“Have at it, then!” Sirius bounced his knees giddily.

“And in the meantime,” said the host, “we’re going to talk about everything that’s happened since your last release: you played a sold out international tour, two of your members came out as gay, you’re now a band of three where there were once four, and of course, your sophomore record,  _ Mischief Managed _ . Let’s start with you, James, what was the touring experience like?”

“It was  _ bloody _ nerve-wracking to begin with. I almost wee myself every time the lights go up, I’m not ashamed to say.” 

“‘Cause then you can see everyone, right?” Remus validated his friend’s jitters.

“Yeah, exactly!”

“But you’d  _ never _ know it with the performance you deliver,” Dumbledore’s voice was laced with pride, “the energy and the stage presence.”

“Thank you so much for saying that!” James beamed.

“And now Sirius and Remus, the fans have been agonizing over a ship name for you both, many of them diving into name etymology -”

“Are you one of them, Alby?” Sirius teased.

“Proudly,” he said without hesitation, “Would you like to know what they finally settled on or should I keep you in suspense?”

“Tell us, sir. We’ll behave ourselves, we promise.”

He paused dramatically anyway before saying, “Wolfstar.”

“Ooh,” Remus nodded his head in approval, “Clever ones, our fans.”

“Was the choice to come out a difficult one for you?” asked their host, “I know I was terrified and certainly, it was a different time, but all the same…”

“Yeah, I mean…” Sirius was, for once, lacking in words.

“I was lucky with my parents,” Remus took over for his boyfriend, “I never felt any pressure to be anyone I wasn’t. I almost don’t think about coming out anymore, sometimes I literally forget to and people are a bit surprised or sometimes they’re like, oh yeah, you’re so obviously gay and I just… it’s weird, I don’t know whether to be offended or not but I like to think I choose ‘not’ more often because, yeah, it means I’m being true to myself if other people see me for who I am… I think it was a bit different for Sirius -”

“Understatement of the year,” the long-haired boy scoffed.

“So I guess it was a bit of a decision we had to make, but we’ve never regretted it.”

“Marvelous!” Dumbledore gestured grandly. He was all about the gestures even though it was a radio show, “How are you holding up as the third wheel, James?”

Before James could even open his mouth, Sirius leaned in connivingly, “Oh, he’s got his own little love, don’t you, Jimbo?”

“But we’re keeping it  _ private _ because we’re  _ private _ people,” the frontman asserted.

“And we respect that,” Dumbledore assured him, “All of you, as a band, kept things pretty private as well when Peter split, yes?”

“It wasn’t really an active decision, to be honest,” Remus was under instructions from Arthur to be the one to answer this question since Sirius would swear and James would be just a bit  _ too  _ honest. “We’re still friends - have been since we were in diapers - it was just a business thing.”

“Ah, but the business of music and the arts is always quite personal, no?” prompted Dumbledore.

“Yes, of course, it just wasn’t that which we disagreed on.”

“So the fact that you’ve just surpassed his solo debut in the charts…?”

“It’s not a competition,” Remus maintained, “We all just enjoy making music.”

Dumbledore nodded and took a cue from his producer, “ _ The Marauders  _ are on The Purple Socks Show! Let’s talk about this second album. The first was called  _ Up to No Good _ , a bit of a chaotic neutral, but then now you’re calling it  _ Mischief Managed _ , which sounds to me like more of a chaotic good -”

“I love how you’re describing it in terms of moral alignment,” interjected Remus.

“What shifted for you boys? James, you once again have writing credits on almost - no, it’s  _ all _ the songs this time - do you have any plans to follow in Peter’s footsteps and eventually become a solo act?”

“No, I love these boys and frankly,” he snaked his arms around their shoulders, “they’d be lost without me -”

“Oi, I think you’re forgetting that without us, all the songs on the album would sound like a kitchen drumset,” Sirius was quick to rebut.

“- and in all seriousness -”

“Much like myself,” the guitarist couldn’t resist.

“- we’re better together. Not just as musicians, but as people. I couldn’t ask for better friends.”

“Aw, Jimbo, I think I might cry!”

“Shove off, mate!” he laughed, “And yeah, in answer to your first question, Albus, I think what shifted was just… us... growing up… we’re still the same lads from our sixth form days, jamming in my mother’s garage in Scotland, but at the same time…”

“We’re men now!” Sirius deepened his voice comically.

“Something like that,” James grinned.

“We’re about to close the Twitter polls @purplesocksshow so be sure to get your vote in and we’ll reveal the tracklist in a moment! Thank you so much for spending time with me today, boys.”

“Our pleasure,” James.

“Always good to see you, Albus,” Remus.

“This was fun!” Sirius.

“We’re going to play them off now with their titular track, which looks like you’ve all selected as the closer to the album - lovely! This is ‘Mischief Managed’ by  _ The Marauders _ .”

_ Those boys are some mischief to manage _

_ So teacher liked to say _

_ They'd tear into your heart, those boys are savage _

_ So Mama liked to say _

_ But I say _

_ Mischief _

_ What a gift _

_ Be a shame _

_ Not to use it _

_ If you can manage _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr @littlejeanniebean or leave a comment below! I always love hearing from you :)


	14. Mischief Managed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus Update: Sophomore album track list!

1\. (Your Love is) Magic _Written by James Fleamont Potter, Sirius Orion Black, and Remus John Lupin. Lead vocals: James Fleamont Potter. Backing Vocals: Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Kingsley Shacklebolt. Drums: Kingsley Shacklebolt Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Bass: Remus John Lupin. String Ensemble: Hogwarts Orchestra. Piano: Elphinstone Urquart._

2\. Forest by the Lake _Written by James Fleamont Potter and Remus John Lupin. Lead vocals: James Fleamont Potter. Backing Vocals: Remus John Lupin. Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Bass: Remus John Lupin. Piano: Elphinstone Urquart._

3\. Everybody Knows. _Written by James Fleamont Potter, Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Kingsley Shacklebolt. Lead vocals: James Fleamont Potter. Backing Vocals: Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Kingsley Shacklebolt. Drums: Kingsley Shacklebolt. Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Bass: Remus John Lupin._

4\. Ivory and Ebony _Written by James Fleamont Potter, Sirius Orion Black, and Remus John Lupin. Lead vocals: James Fleamont Potter. Backing Vocals: Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Kingsley Shacklebolt. Drums: Kingsley Shacklebolt. Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Bass: Remus John Lupin. Piano: Elphinstone Urquart._

5\. Moaning Myrtle _Written by James Fleamont Potter and Kingsley Shacklebolt. Lead vocals: James Fleamont Potter. Backing Vocals: Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Kingsley Shacklebolt. Drums: Kingsley Shacklebolt. Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Bass: Remus John Lupin._

6\. Green Eyed Monster _Written by James Fleamont Potter and Remus John Lupin. Lead vocals: James Fleamont Potter. Backing Vocals: Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Kingsley Shacklebolt. Drums: Kingsley Shacklebolt. Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Bass: Remus John Lupin. Piano: Elphinstone Urquart._

7\. Big Bully _Written by James Fleamont Potter and Sirius Orion Black. Lead vocals: James Fleamont Potter. Backing Vocals: Remus John Lupin, and Kingsley Shacklebolt. Drums: Kingsley Shacklebolt. Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Bass: Remus John Lupin. Piano: Elphinstone Urquart._

8\. Disrobe _Written by James Fleamont Potter and Sirius Orion Black. Lead vocals: James Fleamont Potter. Backing Vocals: Remus John Lupin, and Kingsley Shacklebolt. Drums: Kingsley Shacklebolt. Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Bass: Remus John Lupin. Piano: Elphinstone Urquart._

9\. Red and Gold _Written by James Fleamont Potter. Lead vocals: James Fleamont Potter. Backing Vocals: Remus John Lupin. Drums: Kingsley Shacklebolt. Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Bass: Remus John Lupin._

10\. Mischief Managed _Written by James Fleamont Potter, Sirius Orion Black, and Remus John Lupin. Lead vocals: James Fleamont Potter. Backing Vocals: Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Kingsley Shacklebolt. Drums: Kingsley Shacklebolt. Guitar: Sirius Orion Black. Bass: Remus John Lupin. Piano: Elphinstone Urquart._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment / kudos for a chance to win tickets to a Marauders Secret Session? ;)


	15. (Your Love is) Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the chaos that was Sirius Black traipsing around like he owned SiriusXM during Up to No Good promo, the rest of the boys and Arthur decided that it would be best to have their Mischief Managed secret session at Purple Socks...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pink and purple neon lights. That's the only valid aesthetic for this chapter.

"Where's the  _ intellect _ ?" Kingsley yelled across the dressing room, "The quality  _ characterization _ ?"

"Where's the  _ action _ ?" Sirius countered, "The  _ battles _ of epic proportions?"

"Star Trek vs. Star Wars again?" James raised an eyebrow at Remus.

"You'd think they'd stop going around in circles eventually, but they just get more into it."

"Five minutes, boys."

"Thanks, Arthur!"

“James?” came a hesitant knock.

“Lils!” he practically dove for the door, “You made it!”

“‘Course I did. Need to make sure you lot make me and the girls look good,” she gave them each a critical once over, although the head-to-toe survey she gave her boyfriend may have strayed slightly into ogling, not that James noticed, because she was wearing those same big gold hooped earrings that she’d worn on their last night in Scotland before they had to start album promo and Lily had to stay behind to work on their tour wardrobe. 

“And now, in a Purple Socks Show exclusive performance -”

“That’s our cue, loverboy!” Sirius ushered him out by the shoulders.

“- to celebrate their new album -”

“Good luck,” Lily grinned in their wake.

“-  _ The Marauders _ !”

There was a great deal of high pitched screaming as the boys did their customary lunging onto the stage.

_ Born in the night _

_ That’s his excuse _

_ To think he’s right _

_ But we know the truth _

Remus launched into the bass drop and watching the way he practically caressed the instrument with his whole lean body, Sirius almost forgot to start the chorus with James.

_ You’re just a big bully _

_ With nothing better to do _

_ You’re just mean and surly _

_ ‘Cause you can’t see through _

_ All the shit _

_ That you spit _

_ When you’re tryna be cool _

_ You’re just a big bully _

_ And she’s got better things to do _

James swivelled his hips sultrily in Lily’s general direction and while she certainly was not someone who needed her battles fought for, she appreciated that he took her hurt and ache and turned it into a pretty sweet revenge song. Much better than the one he wrote in primary school that was currently making the rounds on YouTube. 

“Thank you,” James chuckled breathlessly, “Thank you so much - it’s so good to be back! This next song is for anyone out there…” he looked out into the audience - at one audience member in particular, “who’s ever had one helluva night if you know what I mean.”

There were wolf whistles and cheers.

“No! Get your minds out of the gutter! C’mon!” he said, despite a smile he couldn’t get rid of, “I mean that moment, you know, when you realize while you’re out there on the dance floor - probably pissed, if I’m honest -”

The room bubbled with laughter.

“- and you realize just how much you  _ love _ the person you’re there with...” he trailed off as he stared into her doe-like green eyes, “Yeah, this one’s for you and anyone who deserves to feel that way, which is pretty much everyone in the world. Everyone deserves some love. Everyone deserves some magic.”

_ You got me under your spell _

_ And I never wanna shake _

_ You got my all, can’t you tell _

_ And it’s all yours to take _

“Siri,” a voice stopped the long-haired guitarist in his tracks after the show.

“What are you doing here, Reg?”

“What’s it look like?” the younger brother gestured at the Marauder’s merch he was wearing.

“Where’s Kreacher hiding at?” Sirius walked up and down the hall, searching for the little old hunchback who always had a camera on him.

“Kreacher’s not here.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah. I quit the show. It was harder after you did, but I managed.”

“I asked you to come with me.”

“I know. I’m sorry I didn’t… stand up to them for you. I should’ve.”

“I never asked you to,” Sirius shrugged simply.

“You shouldn’t have to. I’m your brother.”

The older boy nodded and when he felt Regulus had hung his head in shame for long enough he pulled him into a tight hug, “Well, you’re here now, eh?”

“Here now,” he promised.

_ I don’t need a broom or carpet _

_ To feel like I can fly _

_ No, I just need my baby’s heart, yeah _

_ I need to know it’s mine _

“Think Petunia will ever speak to me again?” Lily sighed, watching Sirius and Regulus from a distance. The brothers caught up like nothing’s changed between them.

James wrapped his arms around her sinewy shoulders, “Some bonds are stronger than even the most fundamental of disagreements.”

“And others?”

“Others… need time to gain strength. Time that needs to be put in from both sides, yeah?”

“That was… actually not a ridiculous answer.”

“I’m a poet. I’m full of eloquent advice.”

“And there’s the ridiculous,” she laughed and kissed him.

_ Your love is magic _

_ Don't you know _

_ You keep me dancin' _

_ Till the morrow _

_ Your love is magic _

_ I would know _

_ You keep me dancin' _

_ In the afterglow _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS FIC WAS ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE 10 CHAPTERS LONG BIG THANK YOUS TO EVERYONE WHO ENCOURAGED ME TO TAKE IT FURTHER
> 
> This is where the plot ends, but let's be honest, we don't always read fanfic for the plot, so from here on out, please enjoy miscellaneous album promo that provides you with a deeper sense of who these characters are in their soul... jk, mostly it's just monkey business, but it'll be fun, Marauder's promise! xx


	16. Game of Superlatives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Molly (their videographer) has this economically-sized green screen that all boys must stand shoulder to shoulder in front of to fit in the frame, so you can picture the uncomfortable shuffling, the elbow-rubbing, the fans' in the comments going, "GET A BIGGER GREEN SCREEN YOU DOOFUSES!!" 
> 
> Now that you've got that image in mind, let the games begin...

“Hi, we’re  _ The Marauders _ and this is Game of Superlatives!” said the boys.

_ Most Likely to Kiss a Girl on the First Date _

“James,” they said in unison.

“He’s the only straight person in this band,” Sirius did a dismissive Z-snap, “Next!”

_ Most Likely to Forget to Pack a Toothbrush _

“Sirius?” James guessed.

“We can rule out Kingsley and Remus, obviously,” Sirius rubbed his chin in exaggerated thought, “and you’ve been travelling with your parents since you were a wee thing, so yeah, it’s probably me.”

_ Most Likely to Wear Double Socks in Winter _

“Remus,” they all said.

“It goes with his jumper-and-tweed vibe,” Kingsley brushed some invisible lint off his bandmate’s shoulder. 

_ Most Likely to Adopt a Stray _

“James,” they all said.

“The only person who would adopt a cat that hates him,” Sirius shook his head sadly, “and the reason we’re currently boarding a mangy black lab named Snuffles.” 

“One: Algernon  _ loves _ me; he just has a very unique way of showing his love,” James defended, “Two: You love Snuffles - don’t lie! - I saw you giving him an extra treat this morning and telling him what a good dog he is!”

_ Most Likely to Go Off Script _

“Sirius and then James will aid and abet,” Remus said in the way of a long-suffering witness. 

_ Most Likely to Forget Lyrics _

“James, which is ironic because he writes the most,” answered Kingsley.

_ Most Likely to Change Lyrics Without Notice _

“Sirius,” they said all together.

“Mostly, it’s poop jokes,” said Remus.

“Or Tories smack talk,” Kingsley added.

“My parents support them, so they must be pure evil,” the guitarist asserted.

“You’re forgetting the Panty Slayer Fiasco of the Wedding in Monaco,” said James.

“Oh,  _ God _ ,” Remus covered his eyes like he couldn’t stand the sight of it imprinted on the inside of his eyelids.

“ _ Please _ , it was hilarious!” Sirius hugged himself as he giggled, “Did you see the look on Minnie’s face?”

“Minnie is one of our producers,” James explained, “and she was  _ mortified _ .”

“I think he took a few years off her life,” Kingsley shook his head.

“It’s not everyday you get married to the guy who’s been asking you for four years straight!” Sirius protested, “Minnie and Elphie forever! I will go down with this ship!”

_ Most Likely to Wear Their Own Merch _

“Literally all of us,” Remus answered, lifting his tweed jacket to reveal his maroon  _ Marauders _ jumper.

James unbuttoned his blazer to show off the gold  _ Chase Her _ print on his t-shirt.

Kingsley lifted up his sandy brown  _ Mischief Managed  _ kicks.

  
Sirius turned around and pulled down his dark skinny jeans to show his cherry red  _ Up to No Good  _ underwear. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I miss a superlative? Let me know and I may add it or answer you in the comments! I'm also on Tumblr @littlejeanniebean :)


	17. Never Have I Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's have a little fun today... Let's give a little love away...

“We’re back with the British boy band sensation,  _ The Marauders,  _ and we’re going to play a game of Never Have I Ever,” Ellen Degeneres grinned, “Do you all know how to play or…?”

Instead of passing Kingsley’s paddle to him, James was using two paddles to direct the audience’s reactions like an air-traffic controller: both up meant cheer as loud as you can, right up and left to the side meant to laugh, left up and right to the side meant to hoot, both out to the side meant total silence.

“You done?” Kingsley intoned, making them all laugh.

“Yes, ol’ boy, thank you for indulging me,” James handed him his paddle.

“I swear, I can’t decide if you’re a five-year-old or an eighty-five-year old,” Sirius quipped.

“I’m an old soul and a youthful spirit,” the frontman declared dramatically.

“I apologize on their behalf, Ellen,” said Remus sincerely.

“Oh, it’s no trouble, we’re just out here, vibing.”

“We vibing,” James sang to the tune of Ariana Grande’s ‘No Tears Left to Cry’ and Sirius, of course, had to join in. 

“We don’t have the  _ time _ , boys!” Remus chided, “Quick, Ellen, what’s the first one?”

Their host played along and asked very quickly, “Never have I ever used a bandmate’s toothbrush.”

Four paddles went up on “I HAVE.”

“Wow, really?”

“I’ve used Sirius and Remus’,” James explained, “Kingsley used Peter’s old one by mistake once, Sirius and Remus just collectively own two toothbrushes at this point.”

“Some days you feel like using a purple one, some days you feel like using a pink one,” shrugged the long-haired boy, “nothing wrong with that.”

“Never have I ever kissed another celebrity.”

Four paddles went up on “I HAVE.”

“Well, obviously, you two kiss each other,” Ellen gestured between the boyfriends, “but who have the other two kissed?”

“A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell,” said James.

“What he said,” Kingsley nodded.

“Never have I ever hacked a bandmate’s phone?”

Two out of four paddles went up on “I HAVE.”

“ _ Whose _ ?” James rounded on Sirius and Remus.

“Yours,” they said together, looking appropriately guilty.

“How else were we going to…” Remus twiddled his fingers in the air, “er… get details on your… progress.”

“My  _ what _ ?”

“You know… Operation Red and Gold?” Sirius made a keep-up motion with his hands.

“You looked at my  _ To-Do List _ ?”

The long-haired boy bit his lip, “It’s  _ really _ a very boring list, so it  _ really _ doesn’t warrant such a visceral reac-”

James and Sirius proceed to play wrestle, pushing Kingsley and Remus further into the ends of the couch.

“Oh… dear,” Ellen gestured to Andy, “Andy, do you want to… I don’t know… get in there?”

He shook his head and mouthed, “No, I’m good.”

“ _ Boys _ !” Remus called sharply and they froze mid-motion, “ _ Sit _ .  _ Down _ .  _ Properly _ . You’re on television, for God’s sake.”

They sat down and fixed their respective jackets. James’ was a handsome blazer, Sirius’ was shiny faux leather, both courtesy of the Evans brand.

“Never have I ever gotten my face stuck between burglar bars.”

One paddle went up on “I HAVE.”

“I was running away from home,” Sirius shrugged like it was the most natural thing in the world. 

“Did you get out eventually?” asked Ellen.

“Yes, and I would just like to thank Glaxal Base for everything they’ve done for me,” he led the laughter to his own joke.

“Well, thank you, boys for coming all the way across the pond and thank you for playing!”

“Thank you for having us,” said Remus as the outro music played over the speakers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More never-have-I-evers for the lads? Let me know in the comments or on Tumblr @littlejeanniebean and I'll answer you! xx


	18. Playlist of Our Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know that one Teen Vogue segment?

“Hi, we’re  _ The Marauders _ ,” James.

“- and this is -” Remus.

“- the playlist -” Sirius.

“- of our lives,” Kingsley.

  1. _You Make My Dreams Come True by Hall & Oates_



“Whoops!” James had some trouble sticking the card on the board, “Got it, got it.”

“This was the first song we ever played as a band,” he said proudly, “I think we were in our first year of primary school. Sirius on air-guitar, Remus stage-diving off the couch and, uh, our former member, Peter playing the actual melody on the piano, keeping us all in time.”

“And let’s not forget Jimbo on his mother’s soup pots,” Remus threw an arm around his neck, “I don’t think the smallest one ever quite recovered from your grand finale.”

James chuckled nervously, “Sorry, Mum...”

  1. _I’m Gonna Love Me Again by Elton John & Taron Egerton_



“So…” Remus stuck the card on the board, pressing down on the edges carefully, “I… struggled with depression when I was a teenager - okay, I still am a teenager, but I’m fine now... I never really, er, got diagnosed officially, so I was never really comfortable saying ‘Oh, I have depression, that’s why I’m so crumby, sorry about that,’ um… but we had to fill out a form for health class and, well, those questions are bloody obvious, so I never handed mine in and… then I heard this song and… it sort of… became my anthem and… I had a lot of talks with my parents and the lads,” he smiled shyly and his friends who patted his slightly rounded shoulders encouragingly, “and… I started to feel... a lot better.”

  1. _I’m Coming Out by Diana Ross_



“This is a bit of an obvious one,” Sirius slapped the card on the board with enough force to knock it back a bit so James had to catch it, “ _ House of Black _ Season 7, Episode 17. Or as I like to call it, Sirius Independence Day! Bloody good birthday, that! James was there, Mia was there, we met Remus and, uh, Peter for drinks after. Lots of good memories. Best listened to on a boombox.”

  1. _Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson_



“My daddy used to play this song all the time,” Kingsley smiled fondly, “I know all the dance moves -”

“He really does,” said Remus.

“Do it! Do it! Do it!” James started chanting and it wasn’t long before Sirius joined in.

“No, no, I couldn’t possibly,” the drummer grinned bashfully before his game face came on and he pointed directly at the camera, “Cue the music,” then he did a kick and spin, tipping an imaginary hat as he went.

“Damn son!” Sirius applauded.

James stuck his fingers in his mouth and whistled sharply.

Remus did a little awkward groove and bop thing to the beat while he was watching Kingsley that would be all the rage in the comments section. 

  1. _Up to No Good by The Marauders_



“This was the first song we wrote together as a band,” James explained, “It’s very rock and roll. I wanted to add trumpets to back us in the chorus, but Elphinstone said no,” he pouted.

“Because it would have been too much!” Remus insisted.

The frontman shook his head vehemently, “It would have been  _ beautiful _ ,  _ epic _ -”

“Eardrum shattering,” said Sirius.

“You just have a thing against trumpets,” James crossed his arms, “Kingsley, back me up here?”

“This was before my time,” the drummer put his hands up, “I’m not getting in the middle of whatever this is.”

“One of these days,” James wagged his finger as menacingly as he could, which wasn’t very much, “I’m writing a song exclusively on trumpets.”

“What is it with you and trumpets, mate?” Sirius shook his head, “You’d think you’d hate them after Felicity Bardin -”

“Oh, is that the girl who made him quit marching band?” asked Remus.

“She didn’t  _ make _ me quit,” James defended, “I made a mature decision for myself.”

“Yeah, right after writing the worst revenge breakup song in the history of revenge break up songs,” Sirius chortled.

“Moving on!” James interrupted sharply and shoved the next black card into Remus’ hands. 

  1. _When I’m 64 by The Beatles_



“My Dad’s favourite song, that,” Remus chuckled, “Mum says it’s corny, but she always blushes when he sings it to her.”

“If I'd been out till quarter to three,” Sirius took it as his cue to serenade his boyfriend, “Would you lock the door?”

“Yes,” the bassist deadpanned without hesitation, “The only way you seem to learn is by operant conditioning. It’s for your own good.”

“Will you still need me?” James joined in the harmony,

“Will you still feed me?” Kingsley lent his baritone the cause.

“When I'm sixty-four!” Sirius finished, giving the line a bit more of a husky rasp than Paul McCartney did.

Remus rolled his eyes, but with his boyfriend down on one knee - where did he get the  _ rose _ ? - he couldn’t help but blush. Oh, Lord help him, he was turning into his mum.

  1. _Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen_



“Another obvious one,” Sirius stuck his tongue out as he fixed the card to the board with exaggerated precision, likely to mock Remus, “but if anyone  _ doesn’t _ have this on the playlist of their life, well, then they just have abominable taste, I’m sorry to tell you. I recommend listening to it in the shower - great acoustics and every time someone bangs on the door to tell you to shut up, just yell the lyrics ‘cause somehow it always fi-”

James rapped on the back of the board.

“I've got to go!” Sirius screamed, “Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth!”

  1. _Shake It Off by Taylor Swift_



“My love for this song can be succinctly expressed in the following verse,” Kingsley cleared his throat, “Hey, hey, hey, just think while you’ve been getting down and out to all the liars and the dirty, dirty cheats of the world, you _could_ have been getting down to _this. Sick. Beat,_ ” then he turned around, “What are _you_ lot doing?”

James, the smallest of the boys without Peter, was standing precariously on Sirius and Remus’ shoulders. The camera had to zoom out to keep them all in frame. 

“We’re doing the cheerleaders scene,” James explained as if it were the most natural thing to decide to do. 

Remus was a foot taller than Sirius, so James was leaning just enough to one side to cause him to tumble down slowly, clinging to various sections of Remus’ tweed jacket and Sirius’ hair. 

The camera pushed in on Kingsley’s unamused face as he shook his head slowly for effect.

  1. _She’s Always a Woman by Billy Joel_



“My girlfriend loves Billy Joel,” sighed James.

“He misses her,” said Sirius.

“Terribly,” added Remus.

“He’s like a lost puppy only with a phone, so he can give you live updates on just how lost he is without ever managing to give you his location so you can find him,” Kingsley.

“ _ Anyway _ ,” James continued, “Her favourite song is ‘Vienna,’ but I like this one because it reminds me of all the reasons why I love her,” and as if that wasn’t enough, he blows a kiss to the camera and mouths, “ _ I love you! _ ”

  1. _Sunrise by Norah Jones_



“My mum’s favourite song,” smiled Remus, “I love how she just vocalizes, like  _ oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh _ ,” he swayed slightly as he hummed, “Whenever I couldn’t fall asleep, Mum would come in and sing it to me.”

“Aww,” said the boys collectively.

  1. _Bloom by Troye Sivan_



“One: the bass drum,” Sirius counted off, “Two: the seductive whispering; three: my mother hates this song, so by default it’s one of my favourites.”

  1. _Old Town Road by Lil Nas X_



“Ridin' on a horse, ha!” rapped Kingsley, “You can whip your Porsche.”

Sirius and James began beatboxing.

“I been in the valley - you ain't been up off that porch, now!”

Remus slow clapped and nodded sagely like he was at the opera or something.

“Also,” said Kingsley, “this song is one of my personal favourites because f*ck genre! We’re f*cking artists! We do whatever the f*ck we want!”

“So… does that mean a special re-release of ‘Up to No Good’ with trumpets is on the table?” asked James hopefully.

“Not a f*cking chance, mate,” Sirius shook his head decidedly.

  
“And on that note, we are, once again,  _ The Marauders _ ,” Remus closed them out, “Our new album  _ Mischief Managed _ is out now! Thank you  _ Teen Vogue _ for having us!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YELL AT ME!! :)  
> Tumblr: [ @littlejeanniebean ](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/)


	19. Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts

“We’re back with  _ The Marauders _ to play a rousing game of  _ Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts _ !” James Corden grinned impishly at the camera, “Let’s see what we have here today: jellyfish…”

The crowd groaned.

“Chicken feet -”

“That’s actually a Chinese delicacy, did you know?” said Remus.

“Bull penis -”

“But that’s not,” singer James made a face.

“Thousand year old egg -” 

“But that is,” Sirius apparently read the same foodie blog Remus did.

“Pig blood curd -”

“Ooh, is that like black sausage?” asked singer James.

“Would you like to find out?” asked host James.

“I’ll shut up now.”

“Balut -”

“Filipino delicacy,” Remus and Sirius called it in unison.

“Fish smoothie -”

“Don’t give that to Kingsley,” singer James interjected, “he already drinks that on the daily because he thinks it’s healthy.”

“I don’t  _ think _ it’s healthy,” the drummer rolled his eyes, “I  _ know _ it is. It’s  _ science _ .”

“- and ghost pepper hot sauce!” host James was finally allowed to finish.

“Tattoo Roulette is suddenly looking much more favourable to this,” singer James quipped.

“Let’s start with you, Other James,” said the host, “I’m going to give you... bull penis.”

“Oh, God…”

The crowd made a collective sound of disgust.

“Easy for you to say!” singer James addressed them, “You’re not the one who might have to eat it!”

“Oh! And we’ve never seen these questions before, have we boys?” asked host James.

The band shook their heads.

“Good, so I have Other James’, Other James has Sirius’, Sirius has Remus’, Remus has Kingsley’s, and Kingsley has mine. Let’s begin! Other James: Who is your mystery girlfriend?”

“... She’s... a girl.”

“Alright, you coward, eat up!” host James grinned.

“That question is hardly specific!”

“A name, Other James! A N-A-M-E!”

“Ooh, that’s got a nice beat to it,” he bopped his head, “might use it in a song one of these -”

“Quit stalling, you rascal!” laughed host James.

“Rose.”

“Is Rose  _ your girlfriend’s  _ name or just  _ a _ name?”

“...”

“Other  _ James _ ! Come  _ on _ , mate!”

“... I’m sorry, Lily. I don’t think I can stomach it.”

“Lily! Her name is Lily!” host James cheered, “… Dammit, there must be like, what? A million Lilies in the world?”

Singer James only shrugged, “Alright, Sirius, my man! Since you cared to comment on the thousand year old egg…”

The guitarist licked his lips exaggeratedly and rubbed his hands together as he took up his fork and knife.

Singer James read off the card, “Rank your family members from worst to I would take them to hell and leave them there.”

“Oh, wow, yeah, sorry, ol’ chap,” he pushed the egg away, “Guess it just isn’t your night,” the long-haired boy cleared his throat, “Melania - never met her but she hired Kreacher so she can’t possibly be a saint; Pollux - never met him because he didn’t want to meet me and I obviously can’t imagine why, I’m a joy; Alphard - never met him either but he had to delete some racist slurs from his Twitter a few years back; Cygnus - also never met him but he still has not deleted some racist slurs from his Twitter; Narcissa; Orion; Bella; Druella; Walburga.”

“Wow,” host James blinked, “Okay.” 

"Remy, my love," Sirius crooned, "may I interest you in a fish smoothie?" 

"If you must," Remus chuckled lightly.

"What is your worst fear?"

"... Hurting the people I love,” he practically whispered.

Sirius shot out of his chair and ran around the table to smother his boyfriend in hugs and kisses, “You could  _ never _ .”

“Thank you,” blushed the bassist, “Er, Kingsley, fancy some jellyfish?”

“Don’t mind if I do,” said the drummer.

“You guys are going easy on each other,” host James accused, “I can tell.”

“Well, Kingsley doesn’t eat pork, so I can’t very well give him the curd,” Remus flipped his card over, “Kingsley, which song of ours do you actually really dislike?”

“Honestly?”

“Honesty or Smoothie.”

Kingsley regarded the fish smoothie, sniffed it, wrinkled his nose and said, “What the f*ck kind of fish is this?”

“This-close to rotten trout, why?” host James rested his chin on his hand and batted his eyelashes innocently.

The drummer heaved a long sigh, “... Dragon Slayer.”

“Oi!” singer James thumped the table in mock anger, “Dragon Slayer is -”

“- a classic in the making!” Sirius finished.

“It’s a basic four-chord riff with a bass drum and a flicker of a snare that’s  _ it _ !”

“It’s  _ catchy _ ,” the guitarist asserted.

“It’s  _ fun _ ,” singer James added. 

Kingsley shrugged, “It’s just my opinion that you lot can do much better - I  _ have _ heard you do much better. Now, that’s balut for you, Corden and...” he read over his card, once, twice, then grinned like a cheshire cat.

“Oh, no,” the host bit his lip and shook his head, before shaking his finger at the camera, “You’re  _ my _ staff!  _ My. Staff.  _ Why are you coming for me like this?”

“Now, hang on, I haven’t read the question yet,” Kingsley smirked, “If you could kick one of us out of the band -”

“Oh, God…”

“- and replace us with  _ anyone _ , who would you get rid of and who would take his place?”

“Oh, f*ck,” host James swore and picked up his spoon.

“Just crack it like a soft boiled, James,” said singer James.

“Easy for you to say!” cried host James, “You’re not the one who has to eat it! Oh, lord, I can see feathers… and a  _ beak _ … oh, f*ck...”

Half the audience groaned at the close up of the dish, the other half was cackling at host James’ predicament. 

“There’s still time to back out, James,” Sirius taunted, “Just tell us who -” he broke into a fit of laughter as the host picked up the egg and dumped it in his mouth before promptly spitting it into the bucket.

  
“That was  _ Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts _ with  _ The Marauders _ ! I’m going to go have a word with my so-called staff and we’ll be right back after this.”


	20. House Party EP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For context leading up to this, please see these other shorts from this universe that I thought were just going to be one-shots, so like an idiot, I never thought to put them in with the main fic:  
> [Battle of the Instant Songwriters](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23832721/chapters/59318563)  
> [YOUR VOICE IS LIKE A TRUMPET IN MY EAR](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23832721/chapters/57957742)  
> [Aluminum Van Rhetoric](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23832721/chapters/59143654)  
> [Jamesie! Jimsie! Jamsie!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23832721/chapters/57967885)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some time in March 2020...

~~In this unprecedented time,~~

~~Jeez, have some originality, Remy!~~

~~B~~ ~~y Gods, learn some professionalism, Siri!~~

~~In this unprecedented time,~~

~~what are we lawyers, Kingsley??~~

~~Thank you, Jamesie. I knew you'd be on my side!~~

~~shut up, Siri.~~

We are the Marauders and ~~in this unprecedented time,~~

~~Oh for the love of all things good, Remy! The world is going to shite, but we're going to help it go out with a bang!~~

we made this EP from our homes, for yours. 

~~Happy Quarantine!~~

Stay safe, stay healthy, stay at home.

All our love,

James, Sirius, Remus, and Kingsley

  1. YOUR VOICE IS LIKE A TRUMPET IN MY EAR _Written by James Fleamont Potter; Lead Vocals: James Fleamont Potter; Backing Vocals: Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Kingsley Shacklebolt; Drums: James Fleamont Potter and Kingsley Shacklebolt; Guitar: Sirius Orion Black; Bass: Remus John Lupin; Trumpet: Elphinstone Urquart._
  2. oh, brother _Written by James Fleamont Potter and Sirius Orion Black; Lead Vocals: James Fleamont Potter; Backing Vocals: Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Kingsley Shacklebolt; Drums: Kingsley Shacklebolt; Guitar: Sirius Orion Black; Bass: Remus John Lupin; Keyboard: Elphinstone Urquart._
  3. YOUR SAINT DEVOUT _Written by Sirius Orion Black and Remus John Lupin; Lead Vocals: Sirius Orion Black; Backing Vocals: Remus John Lupin, James Fleamont Potter, and Kingsley Shacklebolt; Drums: Kingsley Shacklebolt; Guitar: Sirius Orion Black; Bass: Remus John Lupin._
  4. aunty’s song _Written by James Fleamont Potter and Kingsley Shacklebolt; Lead Vocals: James Fleamont Potter; Backing Vocals: Remus John Lupin and Kingsley Shacklebolt; Drums: James Fleamont Potter and Kingsley Shacklebolt; Guitar: Sirius Orion Black; Bass: Remus John Lupin; Keyboard: Elphinstone Urquart; Trumpet: Elphinstone Urquart._
  5. HOUSE PARTY _Written by James Fleamont Potter, Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Kingsley Shacklebolt; Lead Vocals: James Fleamont Potter; Backing Vocals: Sirius Orion Black, Remus John Lupin, and Kingsley Shacklebolt; Drums: Kingsley Shacklebolt; Guitar: Sirius Orion Black; Bass: Remus John Lupin; Keyboard: Elphinstone Urquart._



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two! More! Chapters! Let's go! Let me know what you think! <3


	21. Sirius and Regulus Black Read Your Assumptions | INKED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, and Reg gets his first tattoo.

“I’m Sirius Black and this is my little brother, Reggie,” he rubbed his knuckles into the other boy’s hair, “He’s getting his first tattoo from home today!”

“While reading your assumptions about us on Twitter,” Regulus wiggled his phone at the camera.

“Hold on, we need background music,” said the older brother, “Alexa, play oh, brother by The Marauders.”

“Cheeky self-promotin’ wanker,” the younger one chuckled as the song began to play.

_ We’re drivin’ _

_ We’re flyin’ _

_ Down the highway _

_ And I say _

_ Oh, brother _

_ How far _

_ Cuz if you wanna _

_ We’re gonna _

_ Run away _

Sirius sat in front of him and held his arm in place, “Right here?”

“Yeah,” his brother pointed just under the inside of his elbow, “A big, bad boombox right there.”

“Alright,” the long-haired boy flexed his fingers, sanitized the skin, and began to outline the tattoo.

_ Oh, brother _

_ Our motor’s _

_ Shot we’re gonna _

_ Have to out run ‘em _

_ On our feet and our wits _

_ Oh, brother keep up now, don’t quit _

_ ‘Till we’re lightyears away _

_ And there’s just you and just me _

“First assumption,” Regulus read off his phone, “I assume Sirius Black’s coming out party was a stunt for the show - Are you lot really still on that? Is it  _ that _ outlandish to think that, oh, I don’t know, he  _ might actually just be gay _ ?” 

Sirius snorted.

“That assumption is false, @mulciber60! Next: I assume Regulus Black’s first name is fake,” the boy deadpanned at the camera, “Listen, @amysgotbones, if I wanted a fake name -”

“He would’ve picked Robert.”

“Or Henry.”

“Jonathan.”

“Hugh.”

Sirius finished his outline and got ready to start on the actual tattoo, “Literally anything -”

“- but Regulus,” he finished, “Holy shit, that’s a big needle.”

“Having second thoughts?” 

“I’m onto my twentieth thoughts at this point.”

“It doesn’t actually go in that deep. Just focus on reading the assumptions. Don’t even look. I’ll be done before you know it.”

Regulus took a deep breath, turned away dramatically, and held up his phone once more, “Assuming Sirius sleeps naked.”

“Yes,” they chorused.

“I assume Regulus writes poetry in his spare time - Eh, I try it out sometimes.”

“Oh, yeah? Give us a bit of your literary brilliance, brother.”

The younger boy cleared his throat, “If life be short and this world be damned / and to each bestowed a timer’s sand / Then burn, I say, both ends, my candle / Disturb my clock, knocked off my mantle / Inferni demand my sins repent / then train I’ll board to tunnel’s light end… Yeah, I’m done.”

“We need to get you and James writing together ASAP,” said Sirius, putting down the needle to slow-clap.

“Aw, I don’t know about that,” he quickly read the next assumption to change the subject, “Sirius is auditioning for a role in Alice Fortescue’s directorial debut.”

“Nope, although we all love Alice and working with Alice and talking about Alice. Alice is amazing.”

“ _ Regulus _ is auditioning for a role in Alice Fortescue’s directorial debut,” he bit the inside of his cheek, “I can neither confirm nor deny?”

“Right words, we can work on your delivery,” his brother quipped.

“I assume Sirius has dated all of his bandmates at least once - I’m gonna guess this is a ‘no?’”

“Yep.”

“Wait, like, yeah-no or yeah-yeah?”

“Yeah-no.”

“Oh, gotcha, gotcha…” he caught a glimpse of the needle on his skin and winced, turning away, “I assume Regulus - it’s so weird referring to yourself in the third person - Regulus owns a shit-ton of Marauders merch - hell, yeah. Assuming Sirius only packed one pair of dark jeans for the entire Up to No Good tour?”

“Don’t be daft,” he scoffed, “I packed two.”

His brother chortled, “I assume Regulus is the more responsible brother, despite being younger - I mean…”

“Choose your words carefully,” joked Sirius, “Remember I’m the one holding the needle.”

Regulus laughed, “I mean, okay, like, ‘responsible’ is such an umbrella term, you know? Like, I do what people tell me to do, does that make me responsible? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. You don’t do what people tell you to, but you take personal responsibility over the people in your life... sometimes, so… I think we balance each other out and together make a… responsible pair?”

“I call bullshit!” Remus yelled from across the living room. 

The brothers snickered.

“I feel like you both read what people say about you on social media but don’t respond to all of them,” Regulus continued, “That’s from @tonkedtalk... I don’t anymore - I’m on a detox, officially, this is Siri’s account I’m looking at and he reads quite a bit and responds quite a bit, but not on his professional account.”

“Oh, shit,” Sirius muttered, turning off the needle.

“What? What did you do?” Regulus looked at the half-boombox etched into his arm.

“I can fix it! I can fix it!” 

“Why is one of the speakers a really wonky circle?”

“My hand slipped, but I can fix it! I’ve done this before!”

“What? Messed up or fixed it?”

“Well, if I didn’t mess up, there’d be nothing to fix, so obviously -”

“Is there a chance you’d make it worse?”

“...”

“...”

“Read the next assumption. I’ll fix it.”

Regulus sighed heavily, “Sirius only ever pretends to be surprised to win best-dressed at award shows, but he actually actively tries to win and has monthly strategy shesh -  _ seshes _ -”

“Sheshies,” Sirius giggled.

“I’m trying to read internet slang with a needle in my arm -”

“It’s not even internet slang, it’s just -”

“Is it fixed yet?”

“No,” the long-haired boy mumbled and ducked his head to get back to work.

“- He has monthly strategy seshes with his stylist - False, he has them with Remus, even now that we’re quarantined. I’ve seen it. They turn the master bathroom into a Queer Eye show on the daily…” he scrolled down, “I assume Regulus is a literal genius… Damn, I mean,” he shrugged, a smirk playing at the edges of his lips, “I’m not going to tell you you're wrong, @nellie_park.”

“Oh, is that Parkinson?”

“You know her?”

“The model, right?”

“No, that’s Natasha. Nellie’s -”

“Oh!” Sirius took the needle off his brother’s skin in his excitement, “Nellie works at Evans’, duh!”

“Yeah, that’s her.”

“Yeah, I know her too.”

“Cool. Glad we established that.”

“Hi, Nellie!” Sirius waved at the camera. 

“I assume Regulus is a sad drunk, don’t know why though - but they spelled ‘though’ the ‘cool’ way with just the first three letters - and I assume Sirius is a cool drunk.”

“I think…” his brother stuck his tongue out in concentration, “I think we’re both… cool drunks.”

“I don’t think so,” Regulus countered, “I think, like, just… being honest with myself, I  _ am _ a sad drunk, but you’re like… chaotic drunk.”

“You think?”

“Absolutely zero chill.”

“Huh.”

“I assume you’ve both considered dying your hair blond so it no longer matches your last name - we’re finally doing it right after this, actually. Like for real. I’m just getting the tips done, but Siri is going for the full look.”

“It’s done! I’m done! You really couldn’t have picked an easier thing to get tatted, could you?” Sirius huffed.

“How’s it look?”

“I think it looks pretty good... I just thickened the lines around the speakers to hide the -”

“Yeah, yeah, I like it!”

“It’s good, right?”

“Yeah, my first tattoo,” Regulus grinned at the camera. 

“Thanks for hanging with us!” Sirius leaned in to kiss the camera, “Don’t forget to check out  _ The Marauders’ House Party EP _ everywhere you listen to music! All proceeds from sales, merch, ad revenue, go towards getting good masks to people who need them here in the UK, feeding kids now that they’re stuck and home and can’t get a meal at school, and, of course, the NHS.”

“Stay safe, guys!” the younger brother saluted, “Take care!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my first time writing regulus extensively... thoughts? comments? Sirius was too distracting and you may have to read it again to solidify your opinion of Reg? let me know!
> 
> Tumblr: [@littlejeanniebean](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/)


	22. My Boyfriend Does My Makeup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 30% actually doing makeup 30% song lyrics 30% Jily serious-flirting (that'll make more sense when you read it...)

“Hi everyone, I’m James -”

“I’m Lily -”

“I’m Kingsley -”

“Mary -”

“Wolfstar,” said Remus and Sirius together.

“Dorlene!” giggled Marlene and Dorcas, “And this is -” 

“My boyfriend does my makeup,” said Lily and Mary.

“Thank you so much for sending in your votes by donating! Even if your selection didn’t win, all the money is going to go to charity,” said James, “and if you still want to make a donation to any of the charities helping out during the pandemic, the links to their pages are in the description below! Sirius, cue the music!”

“Aye!” the long-haired boy turned to his Alexa, “Play HOUSE PARTY by The Marauders off their new EP of the same name, now available everywhere you listen to music!”

_ Twas the night before quarantine _

_ And all through the house _

_ Everyone was sleeping soundly _

_ But in the morning when they roused _

_ Everybody said - _

_ Don’t go work, don’t go to school _

_ You don’t have to tell me twice _

_ I don’t know what I’m gonna do _

_ But a house party sounds real nice _

“It’s James with Lily in Ireland versus Kingsley and Mary here in London. The vibe is: a brunch date. Not to be confused with the more formal lunch date or the more casual breakfast date. I’m your judge, Sirius Black -”

“I’m your other judge, Remus Lupin -”

“Also your judges, Dorcas Meadowes -”

“And Marlene McKinnon - The boyfriends have their girlfriends’ makeup kits ready on the vanities and will begin in -”

“Three,” Sirius.

“Two,” Remus.

“One,” Dorcas.

“And they’re off!” Marlene dug into the bowl of popcorn first. 

_ On the twelfth day of quarantine _

_ My true love screamed at me _

_ We have enough toiletries _

_ Everybody: _

_ Don’t go outside, don’t see your friends _

_ Everybody have you heard? _

_ I don’t know when this gonna end _

_ But for now: house party all over the world _

“Ow!” Lily.

“Sorry!” James.

“Ooh! James almost takes Lily’s eye out with an eyeliner pencil!” Sirius commentated, “Meanwhile, Kingsley’s purrfecting Mary’s cat-eye -”

“Rookie mistake!” Marlene called, “Rookie mistake!”

“What?” James turned to the screen, where his friends were on live, “What did I do?”

“Hey, no helping!” Mary chided.

James put down the highlighter and picked up the blush, raising a questioning eyebrow at Marlene, who shook her head slightly. James picked up the bronzer and she nodded once.

“Let’s go to the comments section to answer some questions, while the makeup artists do their thing,” said Dorcas, “allhailthekingsley asks: Why does HOUSE PARTY sound like a parody of every Electric Light Orchestra song ever?”

“Wicked name,” said Kingsley.

“Vibe check reasons, that’s why,” said Sirius.

“What does that even mean?” Remus turned to his boyfriend.

“I don’t know, I just read that off themaraudershoe’s reply.”

“jily4everandeverandah asks - great username, by the way,” Dorcas couldn’t resist interjecting, “How are you guys - double question mark - how are your parents - double question mark - how is ALGERNON - all caps and double question mark.”

“We’re good and our families are good, thank you so much for asking, love, how are you all?” James murmured, taking some remover to Lily’s liquid eyeliner yet again, “Algernon is ambivalent, as always.”

“wolfstarsinthesky says: It’s so sweet that you’re doing what you can to help out and giving us all of this amazing content too!”

Sirius and Remus awed in unison.

“No,  _ you’re _ sweet, wolfstarsinthesky,” the long-haired boy blew a kiss to the camera. 

Remus rang a small tea bell that Sirius stole from his mother’s kitchen back in the day, “Kingsley’s finished in record time -”

“Already?” James groaned, then addressing Lily, said, “Why do you even need makeup to go to a hypothetical brunch? You’re beautiful already.”

“James, I love you, but that’s not going to get us a win,” Lily sighed through her smile.

“What’s our prize?” Mary jumped up eagerly.

“The winning team gets to tweet from the loser’s accounts,” Marlene broke into a devilish grin, “So text them your passwords, Jily, and don’t forget to change them after!”

“I’m sorry,” James kissed his girlfriend in consolation after they signed off on the video.

“You tried your best,” she snaked her arms around his waist, “You might be a clueless ape, but you’re  _ my _ clueless ape.”

“Let’s see if they’ve finished doing their damage, shall we?” he unlocked his phone.

**@jamespotter1999 on Twitter:** @its-lily-evans Will you marry me?

**@its-lily-evans on Twitter:** @jamespotter1999 OH MY GOSH YES

**TRENDING HASHTAGS: #jilyengaged, #mrslilypotter, #mrjamesevans, #amaraudersmarriage**

Green eyes met hazel and they guffawed. 

“As if I’d ever  _ actually _ have so little class as to ask you over the internet!” James brushed a tear away from under his glasses.

“As if I’d ever  _ actually _ say ‘oh my gosh’ when I agree!” Lily held her stomach, pretty dimples forming just beside her upturned lips.

“Wait…”

“What?”

“When you agree?”

Lily scrunched her nose in confusion, “I think that’s what I said, yeah...”

“Like  _ when _ you agree, not  _ if _ you agree?” James’ mouth went dry with nerves.

“Oh, well, you know…”

“What do I know?”

“Well…” she wrung her hands, “we’re young.”

“We wanna live while we’re young,” James smiled.

“We have our careers to think about. When the pandemic ends, you have to tour -”

“But I never forget where I belong,” he smiled wider.

“I can’t take you seriously when you quote One Direction to me.”

The boy took her hands in both of his, “But I live for you, I long for you, I love you -”

At the same time she said, “I love you too, but -”

“I’m not saying we have to start a family or anything -”

“But you want to?”

“If you do?”

“I do.”

“May I kiss the bride?”

“That - no - I mean, yes, but -”

He kissed her.

“How would you actually?” she asked breathlessly.

“How would I actually what?” he murmured against her soft lips, still sticky with the lipstick he’d put on.

“Ask me.”

James opened his eyes and righted his glasses so he could see her properly. Her makeup job was absolutely shoddy - nothing was blended, her eyeliner was uneven, the overuse of highlighter made her look oily and it was his fault - and she was beautiful. 

“Lily Jean Evans,” he got down on one knee. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wtf is Lily Evans' middle name anyway?  
> P.S. What did you think of this chapter?


	23. BONUS | James Potter & Regulus Black “Old Friend” Official Lyrics & Meaning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus Chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by my sis, pianistbynight :)  
> Dedicated to YouBlitheringIdiot because she loves Reg ;)

Regulus sat very still on his stool while James spun around repeatedly, first clockwise, then counter. 

“This is a serious song," Regulus deadpanned to the camera.

"False!" James proclaimed loudly, "Sirius had nothing to do with this except for, you know, the entire guitar solo before the bridge."

_ If life be short and this world be damned _

_ And to each bestowed a timer’s sand _

_ Then burn, I say, both ends, my candle _

_ Disturb my clock, knocked off my mantle _

"So, uh," Reg licked his lips, "YOLO, basically."

"C'mon, mate," James elbowed him gently.

"No, that's literally what it means. I just borrowed a bunch of overused phrases and said them in a weird way."

"He was contemplating the finality of life in light of the coronavirus," the bespectacled boy spoke for him.

"False!" Reg mimicked James' tone from earlier, "I was actually thinking about -" he stopped himself quickly.

"Ye-es?"

"About how I should have stood by Sirius when he quit. Made their lives hell at the show. I had everything to lose, yes, but he's my brother and if that's not worth more than everything, I don't know what is."

James’ eyes were brimming with unshed happy tears.

_ Inferni demand my sins repent _

_ Then train I’ll board to tunnel’s light end _

"So… yeah, more of the same," Reg coughed with admirable British composure.

James just fixed him with a  _ look _ .

"Uh..." the boy scratched his cheek lightly, "My conscience can be a b-"

"Bother!" his co-writer yelled.

"Right. Yeah. So… Once it’s settled, I can rest easy."

_ All I ask is that you greet me like an old friend _

_ All I want is to see my kin grow up, grow old _

“My parents were older when they had me,” James explained, “and very early on, they sort of… prepared me for… certain eventualities… so the idea of death, the finality of life, is… like an old friend to me.” 

_ All I ask is that you meet me at the river’s bend _

_ Like we never grew up and never grew old _

“More nostalgia,” James chuckled fondly, “There was a river that my dad used to take me and the boys too. He’d be Captain Hook and we’d be Peter Pan and the Lost Boys.” 

_ Your hand me downs never fit me well _

_ No accusation, it’s just as well _

“Basically, I’ve never fit into the mold my family wanted,” Reg twiddled his thumbs and for once, James didn’t press him, although he made a mental note to speak to him and Sirius in private.

_ Though my feet burn to run into your arms _

_ Out of sync, it stutters and stops, my heart _

_ We do more than deserve each other _

_ We belong ev’more to each other _

“And… a part of me will always love them, I guess?” Reg rubbed his cheek, “The crazy, sadistic bunch that they are… but a stronger part of me… knows I can’t be around them and I feel kinda guilty about it sometimes because they’re my family and all that, despite everything they are.”

_ All I ask is that you greet me like an old friend _

_ All I want is to see my kin grow up, grow old _

_ All I ask is that you meet me at the river’s bend _

_ Like we never grew up and never grew old _

_ One brother had dived in _

_ One brother was dragged down _

_ One brother played his own game _

_ They'll all be seeing each other again now _

“That’s Sirius, Reg, and myself,” said James, “We… may have taken different roads to get here, but we’re all together now and we’re our own family now and that’s what matters.”

_ Greetings like an old friends _

_ You grew up and you grew old _

_ Meeting at the river’s bend _

_ Nothing new, same old, same old _

“The wonderful thing about co-writing,” James threw an arm around the younger boy’s shoulders, “is that you see right away how a song can mean very different things to different people.”

“And taken together,” Reg continued, “this song probably means something different than our individual parts and I think that’s pretty cool.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's just one more to go! Unless, of course, there's something else you'd like to see? Let me know and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for reading! I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate you all <3 This has been one of my favourite fics to write and I'm devastated it's coming to an end, but I'm so, so happy that people are enjoying it :)


	24. BONUS | Celebs Read Their Own Headlines: James Potter at Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to officially dedicate this fic to YouBlitheringIdiot or blitheringmcgonagall on Tumblr :) Mia, you're an incredible writer and you somehow manage to be an even better friend! All my love to you xx

_JAMES POTTER OFFICIALLY OFF THE MARKET_

“I love being referred to as merchandise,” the singer quipped.

_JAMES POTTER TIES THE KNOT OVER ZOOM_

“I once had to tie a knot in summer camp... That didn’t go over well.”

_SINGER JAMES POTTER AND DESIGNER LILY EVANS TIE THE KNOT_

“You know what they say, _If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it_!”

“Excuse me, who are you calling ‘it’?” said a distinctly female voice off-camera. 

“Don’t look at me, look at Beyonce!” James protested. 

_JAMES POTTER LEAVES THE MARAUDERS TO GET MARRIED_

“They were all there actually, as my best men.”

_JAMES POTTER LEAVES THE MARAUDERS_

“The only way this happens is if I die.”

_JAMES POTTER DIES OF CORONAVIRUS_

“Hold on, let me check to make sure I don’t, you know, _misinform_ anyone,” James took his pulse, “Yep, no, still kicking.”

_JAMES POTTER TESTS POSITIVE FOR CORONAVIRUS_

“ _Who’s_ _writing this_ \- oh, nevermind, it’s Rita Skeeter. Yup. This is what journalism’s come to, it seems.”

_JAMES POTTER GOES SOLO_

“Aaaaand we’re back to that. Okay then.” 

_THE MARAUDERS SPLIT, JAMES POTTER GOES SOLO_

“Why is everyone so obsessed with me leaving the band? Is it my singing? Or maybe people just don’t like my face...” James snuck a peak at Lily off-camera.

"You're fishing for your ego and I'm not biting."

"Eh, I had to shoot my shot. Give it all I got. Ready or not -"

"Please leave the rapping to Kingsley."

James pouted at the camera. 

_JAMES POTTER AND SIRIUS BLACK SPLIT THE BAND_

“Ha! It says we had a fight over Lily!” 

“Who won me over in the end?” asked the redhead off-screen. 

“Sirius, apparently.”

“Oh, crap. How are you coping? Do they say?”

“Let’s see… I’m drowning in booze and meaningless hookups.”

“While managing to keep social distancing?”

“Probably not, that would explain why I died of the coronavirus.”

_JAMES POTTER VS. SIRIUS BLACK FEUD SPLITS THE BAND_

“Okay, this one says we’ve been arguing over who should be the lead singer for ages - not true. A source from our label who wishes to remain anonymous - which means they don’t have a source - says that all the other members voted Sirius to be the lead singer, but Minnie favoured me and has contractual veto power. What a load of tosh that is! If anyone in the band has veto power, it’s Kingsley and he would make Sirius lead in a heartbeat if the old boy wanted it.”

_JAMES POTTER VS. KINGSLEY SHACKLEBOLT FEUD SPLITS THE BAND_

“What? Because we’re both drummers?” James read the rest of the article and scoffed, “Yeah, that’s really the best you can do, eh, _Daily Prophet_?” 

_JAMES POTTER EXPECTING FIRST BORN THIS SPRING_

“Hey, Lily, are you pregnant?” 

“Nope,” his wife replied from off-screen. 

_JAMES POTTER EXPECTING FIRST BORN THIS SUMMER_

“Lily, are you pregnant _now_?”

“Still no.”

_JAMES POTTER EXPECTING FIRST BORN THIS FALL_

“Lily, are you -”

“No.”

_JAMES POTTER EXPECTING FIRST BORN THIS WINTER_

“I think we’re just going to skip to the part where she says -”

“No,” Lily finished. 

_SINGER JAMES POTTER AND DESIGNER LILY EVANS PREGNANT_

"And now we're both pregnant," James chortled, "I mean, we both _want_ kids, someday, but we're _really_ trying to stay away from hospitals just now, you know, with… everything."

_SIRIUS BLACK AND REMUS LUPIN FIGHT OVER GODFATHER PRIVILEGES, SPLITTING THE BAND_

"Lads, lads, there's no need to fight. Elvendork can have two godfathers!"

"For the last time, we're not naming our kid 'Elvendork!'"

"Why not? It's unisex!"

"So is Rory."

"That might just be the most Irish thing you've ever said."

"And what of it?"

"Nothing. We can name our kid Elvendork Rory Potter." 

"You mean 'Rory Elvendork,'" said Lily.

"And Elvendork's in!" James cheered.

His wife stuck her head into frame, "I'm sorry, Rory, Mummy tried her best."

_JAMES AND LILY POTTER WELCOME SON, FLEAMONT POTTER_

"Sorry, Dad, but it's… Just not happening. no kid of mine is going to be ashamed of their middle name."

"How ironic, seeing as you were hedging all your bets on Elvendork," said Lily drily.

"It's _unisex_!"

_JAMES AND LILY POTTER WELCOME SON, SIRIUS POTTER_

"Now _that_ is worth considering! Sirius Rory Elvendork Potter!"

"Save some for the other kids!" Lily laughed.

_JAMES AND LILY POTTER WELCOME SON, JAMES JUNIOR_

"Lily says no, because one whiny narcissist in the house is enough."

_WOLFSTAR JEALOUS OF JILY BABY, SPLITTING THE BAND_

"Bloody _hell_ , they really went and brought those two together..."

_MR. AND MRS. JAMES POTTER DIE IN TRAGIC MOTORCADE ACCIDENT_

"Oh, no! Lily! Lily, we're dead! We're gone! Our child will never know their parents! And I left the band on such awful terms! Oh, woe! Woe is us!"

"You done?"

"We're _done_ for!" James collapsed dramatically. 

_JAMES POTTER PERISHES UNDER LONDON BRIDGE_

"Huh, you know it doesn't hit as bad as the first time."

_JAMES POTTER AND LILY EVANS DIE IN MOTOR PILE UP_

"Ah, third time's a charm!"

_JAMES AND LILY POTTER PAPPED TO THEIR DEATHS_

"It says you tried to hold them off to protect me," read Lily, "and that your last words were either 'All off, you!' or 'I love you!'"

"Diana, let me be the one to lift your heart up and save your life!" James sang, "I don't think you even realize, baby, you'd be saving mine!"

_JAMES POTTER AND LILY EVANS DIE, SURVIVED BY DAUGHTER_

"Our poor child will never know their parents!" he sobbed.

"James... we don't have a child."

"Oh, right."

_JAMES POTTER AND LILY EVANS DIE, SURVIVED BY SON_

"Ha! Not falling for that again!"

_SIRIUS BLACK GRIEVES BEST FRIEND, JAMES POTTER_

"Aw, he came to my funeral!" James wiped away an imaginary tear. 

_SIRIUS BLACK AND REMUS LUPIN GRIEVE BEST FRIEND, JAMES POTTER_

"Aw, they _both_ came to my funeral! Excuse me, I just… I'm so overcome… being dead and all, it's a lot to process!" he sniffed pathetically while Lily cackled in the background. 

_JAMES POTTER AND LILY EVANS SPLIT_

" _What_ ? _Why_? What did I do?"

"Apparently, I'm jealous of your fame and heartthrob status."

"And I spent all my money on gold toilet paper holders. So you don't see the point of trying to hold me down anymore."

"Sounds legit," she said sarcastically. 

_JAMES POTTER CHEATS ON LILY EVANS_

"With _who_ ?" James asked indignantly, " _Who_ is better than Lily Evans? Name _one_ person!"

"Sirius Black," Lily read aloud.

"I love you both equally in different ways. That doesn't mean anything. You've got to believe me, Lily!" he put on a fifties actor voice.

"I don't know if I can any longer, James!" his wife joined in.

"Oh, you wound me!" the boy clutched his chest and closed his eyes briefly before jumping up vivaciously to read the next headline.

_LILY EVANS CHEATS ON JAMES POTTER_

"With _Snape_ ?" James scanned the fake news article, "Lily, how _could_ you?"

"Well, you know _that's_ a lie, for sure," Lily wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"I'm sorry I ever doubted you, my love," his actor voice was back.

_REGULUS BLACK RELEASES DEBUT SINGLE FT. JAMES POTTER_

" _Finally_ ! Some accurate reporting! _Yes_! Regulus is a talented young bloke and I'm very excited for you all to see what else he's been working on! He's got a bright future ahead of him!" 

_JAMES POTTER LEAVES BAND, JOINS REGULUS BLACK'S ACT_

  
"Aaaaand we're done here," James grinned winningly at the camera, " _Mischief Managed_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cue loony tunes end-card* That's all, folks!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos, you guys!! I appreciate you all endlessly!! Please take care of yourselves and stay safe out there <3 
> 
> Don't be a stranger! You can find me on Tumblr [@littlejeanniebean](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/) :)


	25. BONUS | Epilogue: Many Years Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GOLDEN TRIO GENERATION SNEAK PEEK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TURNS OUT, IT'S NOT OVER YET!  
> Thank you so much JadeNightTheWriter for making me write out this idea <3

"Welcome to Good Morning with Ginny Weasley, I am the aforementioned Ginny Weasley," the redhead deadpanned to the camera, "Thank you, Lee Jordan, for that riveting update on England's most beloved pastime, football. I'd like to see you right after this to give you some pointers on how to ask out a celebrity because that was  _ not _ the way to do it, my friend. Women and especially Angelina Johnson have standards," she paused to allow the show's producer, Minerva McGonagall, lecture her about on-air decorum through her earpiece, "Now, I'd like to introduce another friend of mine, whom I've just learned is not a early bird, Mr. Harry Potter!"

A green-eyed man walked up to the guest's chair. He was dressed in a navy blue suit with gold cufflinks of his mother's design.

"Hello, Ms. Weasley!" he smiled mischievously - not that he was up to something at all; he just didn't have another way of smiling.

"Yes, yes, skip the pleasantries - they're never interesting," she rested her chin on her hand and looked him up and down, brown eyes lingering on his messy jet black locks, "You look like you just rolled out of bed."

"My stylist is very upset with me."

"Ah, yes, Pavarti Patil, isn't it? Rumour has it -"

"We're not dating."

"Thank you for clearing that up - as you know, I have to ask -"

"Just doing your job," shrugged Harry nonchalantly.

"- even though I have zero interest in invading your privacy -"

"You're a serious news anchor."

"Exactly, let's talk about the news: your new film is called  _ The Forest _ and it's a fantasy adventure in which you play a half-werewolf sorcerer. Tell us why this is a departure from your previous work and what the shift was like."

"Well, Ms. Weasley, as you are well-aware -"

"Oh, call me Ginny, please. Let's not pretend we haven't known each other since we were in nappies."

"Certainly, Ginny, and please, call me Harry," he grinned, his dimples on full display, "I've been playing smart aleck teenagers who are either in boarding school or dropping out of sixth form. Now, I'm playing a smart aleck teenager who is half-werewolf and a sorcerer's apprentice."

"Such growth," Ginny nodded with a faux contemplative air, "Such range."

"I know right, I'm a prodigy," the actor quipped.

"And how old is this prodigy now?"

"Twenty-three."

"Good thing you have a youthful face or you'd age right out of your niche."

"You got that right," Harry chuckled, "What's Minnie saying in your ear right now?"

Ginny pressed two fingers to her earpiece and pretended she was receiving a breaking update, "Stop sarcastic flirting and ask him what the most challenging part of the role was - I would just like to clarify that I am not flirting -"

"Of course not, you're a professional."

"Thank you, Harry, and pray tell, what was the most challenging part of the role for you?"

"Well, my character loses his parents at a very early age and that's what starts his journey through what's called  _ The Never-Ending Forest  _ -"

"But you cut the 'Never-Ending' from the title because that would be too long and hard to remember?" she asked sarcastically.

"Precisely. I'm very fortunate in that both my parents are alive and well, but my dad's mum and dad passed on before I was born, so I had quite an emotional conversation with my dad about what that was like for him and I really wanted to do that justice, you know? Because sometimes our entertainment desensitizes us to loss and death, but it's so very real and I didn't want that grief and despair to… to be cheapened by what I was doing."

"So you did it to the best of your ability," Ginny actually was serious now, as was Harry.

"Yes."

"Can I talk to you about your directors, because there were quite a few of them and you've been working on this film for quite some time now, haven't you?"

"Almost two years."

"So first we had Quirrell and the expenses went through the roof, didn't they?"

"One problem was that Slytherin Productions wasn't giving their actors equal pay for equal work. One of my co-stars, who is a woman of color, Hermione Granger, was making barely over half of what I was. So Quirrell raised her pay, but then another co-star - whom I won't name, but suffice it to say, he was a male in a minor supporting role - took it up with his father, who was a board member at Slytherin -"

"He's not anymore," Ginny clarified for the benefit of her viewers. She knew this story well.

"Correct," said Harry, "He used his influence to raise his son's salary. There were other issues, like splurging on on-site shoots and night shoots when the footage isn't even usable and it looks better on a green screen anyway."

"And then there was Lockhart, who relied heavily on his assistant directors, Ron Weasley and Neville Longbottom, during his stint."

"Right. He'd always relied heavily on his ADs as a former actor with little experience directing."

"But he never seemed to pick up, so he too was fired, and Remus Lupin took his stead and got the movie finished."

"He's always been a big fan of fantasy and mythology and the like. He took a masterclass in film during the pandemic of 2020 and I mean, yeah, he's one of my godfathers, but please allow me to say, he's got a natural talent for it."

"Oh, we  _ know _ , Harry, two Oscar nominations under his belt and I do believe the third time's the charm," Ginny rapped her knuckles on her desk, "Knock on wood. Do you have ambitions for the academy yourself?"

"I have my hopes," Harry shrugged humbly.

"Well, thank you so much for joining us this morning, Harry, sorry to wake you -"

"Oh, it was no trouble -" he cut himself off as an idea came to him, "Actually, you know what, it was a major inconvenience and I would like to be compensated."

"To the tune of?"

"The honour of buying you a proper coffee."

"You've got a lot of nerve, Potter, coming in here and insulting our coffee whilst demanding a date -" she took a sip of said coffee and almost spat it out, " _ ugh _ , that is pretty awful - but you're one lucky bloke because I happen to like people who've got some nerve. I take my coffee black with small marshmallows," Ginny held out her hand for him to shake.

"Brilliant," Harry shook her hand gladly.

  
"This has been Good Morning with Ginny Weasley and  _ that _ is how you ask a girl out, Jordan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cheers, loves! 😘  
> You can always talk to me on here or on Tumblr [@littlejeanniebean](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/)


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